overflow

Yesterday. Ah, yesterday. 

When I went to bed last night I felt full.

Not full from food, or from cravings fulfilled,

not even just full of love for my family, 

as I often feel as my head hits the pillow. 

This was greater. 

Deeper. 

Wider. 

Purer. 

Trying to define it is impossible, 

but my mouth keeps forming the word 

obedience. 

I think the feeling of fullness from last night, 

and the overflow I'm feeling today, 

is the aftermath, of obedience.  

A combination in equal parts of 

humility, contentment, and pride. 

Perhaps. 

You see, what I experienced yesterday wasn't just 

a one sided display of the Lord's goodness, 

but every member of my family displayed 

obedience and personal growth yesterday. 

Overflow. 

Tears spill over as the feeling washes in again. 

Full. Abundant. Tranquil. 

Like the mist off of a waterfall. 

I dropped off my sweet Micah at daycare as I do everyday, and picked him up in big boy underwear.
Perhaps this doesn't strike you as a display of obedience, or personal growth, but you didn't get to see the look in his eye as he declared to everyone he was in underwear, that yes, he was a big boy "are you a big boy?"
"Uh huh" he said with a nod and ear to ear grin.

Three months ago he was nearly trained but then he (and let's be honest, we) backslid. As recently as Saturday I couldn't get him interested in trying, couldn't get him to go in the toilet, underwear meant accidents and trips to the bathroom ended in protests and tears.

Is the work complete? Probably not. But in three days my daycare provider managed to get Micah excited about potty training, and declared in confidence last night that he would be fine in underwear. Was I nervous about sending him to VBS in underwear, you better bet I was! However, there was also a joy and peace about giving him the opportunity to impress me. Showing confidence in him helps him have confidence in himself.

Oh confidence, a running theme of yesterday's joy. 

Owen won a prize at VBS for getting up on stage and answering a question from our Pastor. This in and of itself makes me proud, but as Owen tells it "are you extra proud of me because I had stage fright but went anyway?" Now, I've never known Owen to have stage fright a day in his life, but if he says he did, and I know I do, well then, yeah I'm double and triple proud of him. It opened the door for me to talk to him about bravery and boldness for Christ and desiring to do things for God that might be scary but worth it in the end. 

Brian, my precious husband has been stepping out of his comfort zone to teach/lead the Youth Group at VBS every day this week. It makes me so proud to sit and listen to him each night, sharing his knowledge and love for our Lord. I enjoy watching him grow in his understanding, grow as a teacher, and even as a person. Nothing makes me prouder to be his wife than his faith and obedience to the Lord.

That leaves me, myself, and I. Last night I shared my testimony with the youth. Not a recent or brief "what God has done", or a 90 second recap of how I came to Christ. I did, as I called, "my abbreviated life story" sharing in depth how God used earth shattering events in 7th, 8th and 9th grade to draw me to Him, show Himself as my Father, and deepen my prayers respectively. I rehashed how lonely I was in school, mentioning some examples of the hurt and seclusion I felt, of how I never felt like I fit in with the world around me, and how I believed the bullies and tormentors in my classes. I shared three scriptures I wished I'd known back then, 1 Cor 6:18 about the Lord as my father, Psalms 55:22 which I've seen alive in my life so many times, but most importantly Zephaniah 3:17. I had several girls come up and tell me "you were so good, you made me cry, I just want to hug you". My intent was not to cry in front of a room of teens, or cause them to cry, my goal, my hope and my prayer, is that they will take away from my story that their worth is not measured by the worlds standards, by what their friends or peers think of them. That they don't have to believe hurtful things that are spoken about them and should not let their self confidence be in those things. My prayer is that instead they will take the words of Zephaniah 3:17 to heart and realize that as children of God, the King of Kings, we are valuable, He loves us, and His opinion is the only one that should matter.

The Lord your God is with you, 

He is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you, 

He will quiet you with His love,

 He will rejoice over you with singing. 

Zephaniah 3:17

~ ~ ~

In addition to all of that, 

to the overflow of Christ's love 

through my family 

and each one of us growing yesterday, 

it was also the anniversary 

of one of the biggest miracles 

I've ever personally experienced. 

Throughout the day I often felt flashbacks so strong, moments of peace and comfort so deep, it was as if I was back in that oncologist's office hearing the words "Do you have kids? Go to a sperm bank." No statistics, the doctor not wanting to risk us not going, worried for us that we might not have children otherwise.

By the Lord's grace we found out we were already pregnant. Expecting Owen. In midst of finding out Brian had cancer, that one doctor believed kids might not be an option without medical intervention, that our lives were about to get tough with testing and treatments, we were given the greatest gift. A gift that kept on giving.  A bfp, something to look forward to, a distraction from the trial, a miracle, a round belly, the first ultra sound, kicking and wiggling in the womb, "It's a boy!", the pregnancy waddle, delivery, holding our sweet sweet baby boy.

But the grace didn't end there. The miracles didn't stop with Owen. The Lord has showed us time and time and time again with positive test after positive test (in addition to many other great and worthy gifts and examples) that He alone is in charge and He alone has the power to practice divine intervention.

Yes my friends. 

Yesterday was full, 

and today I still feel the effects and love,

the overflow. 

PS if anyone can tell me why blogger insists on highlighting certain portions of my text when I have not indicated to do so, or better yet, how to fix it, I would be extremely grateful. 

Where I Belong

I am pro life.

I always have been. Quietly, believing that no matter the circumstances God has an amazing plan for every child.

I believed it, I lived it, but I didn't affectionately feel it, until I suffered a miscarriage.

The presidential election was close at hand when I was grieving the loss of my child.  I can vividly remember sitting at work one day listening to a Focus on the Family broadcast about Obama and his stance on abortion, a woman was giving a very graphic testimony about living through an abortion, and I was a blubbering mess.

My love for all things baby had grown exponentially through my loss. I've shared before that as a result of my loss I now have a heart for pregnant women, for grieving women, that I pray fervently for babies growing and mommies grieving for months and months after the birth or loss, and love to see prayers answered for beautiful, healthy, full term babies.

With a heart like that, it's embarrassing to admit how easily I've overlooked the fight against abortion.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

People who know me, know what I believe.

That's enough.

Isn't it?

Last night, I crawled out from under the rock I've apparently been living under, long enough to discover that aborted fetus' are used in all kinds of disturbing ways. PepsiCo uses them to help research flavor enhancement. Say what? The article does say the fetal cells do not end up in the end product, but that doesn't make sense to me and I still find it extremely disgusting.

My heart began to break for those children, for first steps that were never taken, kisses never given, "I love you's" never uttered.

Soon I was crying for my baby in heaven, for how delusional this world is. For what we have taken for granted, for the blessing we have denied, killed and turned a blind eye to.

Immediately, I decided not to purchase Pepsi Products anymore, so long to my good friend "All Natural" Sierra Mist. Then, it was brought to my attention that aborted fetuses are also used in and to cultivate cells for vaccinations.

Seriously?

I started clicking on a million links. Did you know Pepsi also makes Gatorade and Aquafina? Or that other companies are involved and the list of products that contain aborted fetuses and by association therefore support abortion is a full page long?

Am I in affect, supporting abortion if I grab a pack of Trident when I check out?

It didn't take long before my burden began to turn into anxiety.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

I didn't even know how to pray as I was falling asleep. What to say, do or feel. I rested in the knowledge that the Spirit knows my heart and can turn my gut wrenching silence into the most beautiful of prayers.

Even though all was dark and quiet these words began to soothe me to sleep.

All I know is I'm not home yet,

This is not where I belong.

Take this world and give me Jesus,

This is not where I belong. 

When the earth shakes,

I wanna be found in you. 

When the lights fade,

I wanna be found in you. 

Building 429 Where I belong 

This morning I was reading/praying my Psalm of the day, number 5 as I somehow thought today was March 5th. Where they didn't bring me answers to the zillions of questions I now have swirling around in my head, they did bring me comfort.

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
Consider my meditation.
2 Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
3 My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.

4 For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.
5 The boastful shall not stand in Your sight;
You hate all workers of iniquity.
6 You shall destroy those who speak falsehood;
The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

7 But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;
In fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple.
8 Lead me, O Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before my face.

9 For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
Their inward part is destruction;
Their throat is an open tomb;
They flatter with their tongue.
10 Pronounce them guilty, O God!
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions,
For they have rebelled against You.

11 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
12 For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

Even though the morning brought comfort the weight was still heavy, the fight is still too big, too controversial, and I'm still just one me.

Perusing links again, I stumbled on Every Life Is Beautiful, a site created by the makers of October Baby a movie about an abortion survivor (I shared the preview here a few weeks back, so excited to see this amazing story in theaters). The site is basically a series of videos from people involved in the movie, sharing their testimonies about why Every Life Is Beautiful. The first video hit me right where I needed to be hit. It came up automatically when I opened the page and is of Jon Erwin, the Co-Director of October Baby.

I think the movies that inspire me are the ones that, that have some story or redemption in them. People fighting and dying for things that are bigger than themselves.

Yeah, me too, Jon Erwin. Me too.

This is me, living my story.

I'm not sure what the answers are to my questions, and I honestly might not even know all of the questions yet. But I know the difference between right and wrong, I know that if I keep seeking and asking the Lord will make His way straight before my face.

I can start by:
Joining the voices of others.
Opening my eyes, staying up to date with the news, and researching that which I don't understand.
Saying good bye as I finish the bottle of Sierra Mist in my fridge.
Making an honest effort not to purchase Pepsi Products.
And by supporting and promoting the movie October Baby.

And most importantly I need to remember that my joy is found in Him and not to let this world get to me, because ultimately I am not home yet, this is not where I belong.




Do you stand against abortion? How do you avoid inadvertently supporting abortion or other strong convictions? Do you have any tips or tricks on how to live in this world without conforming to it? I'd love to hear your stories!

The Peace Lilly

Father God, 

Today I want to thank you for the three years, one month and two days that I have survived since miscarrying Tobi. Thank you for the love that was poured on us, and the prayers that covered and lifted us closer to you during that time. Thank you for the cards, the flowers, the stolen glances of half smiles (you know, the ones where a persons lips raise but their eyes only reflect a shared pain), for the bible verses that remind me and breathed life back into a hurting heart. 

Mostly Lord I thank you for the Peace Lilly. For the friend who sent it to me.

She had no idea what it would mean to me, couldn't have had any clue that for days, weeks, months, and even the next 2 years that one plant would live on my coffee table and serve to remind me I wasn't alone. Remind me of the prayers others had prayed. Remind me of the strength and peace that only You can provide. 

Lord I thank you that for years that plant brought me comfort and rest. I praise you for small symbols that can keep us rooted in your love and your faithfulness. This plant was not my baby, it was not my Lord, but it was so precious because of everything it represented to me.

I thank you Lord that now I keep a Peace Lilly, not to remind me of Tobi, but to remind me to pray for others. I thank you that I'm able to see more than the pain and peace I needed to survive, but I think of others before myself, the women I've sent Peace Lilly's to. I praise you that, while I wish none of these other women had suffered loss, a mother gone too soon, a husband lost to a terrible disease, and more miscarriages that will never be forgotten, it reminds me to pray. To continue praying for these women, these situations, their strength, Your peace. I praise you that while I'll always think of Tobi and miss what could have been, I've learned more about pain.

I praise you Father that it's getting easier to find the blessings that stemmed from this loss. That the statements of praise I was able to mutter that day, week, month have become stronger, true-er, and easier to say, to feel. 

Thank you for the promise that Tobi was to us, the symbol that we could have more children. Thank you ever more that his or her life is made complete in your love and company.

Oh the joy it will be to meet in heaven, women talk about that surprise feeling of waiting until birth to find out what they are having, I don't think I could do it, but here I am, waiting until death with eager joy. 

I love you for being Faithful and Peaceful, and even for using our deepest pain to teach us and mold us into the people you want us to be. With the faith and testimonies you want us to have. 

Thank you Father.

Gratitude for Communication With My Father

Abba Father,

Today I just want to pause and thank you for the privilege of prayer. 

For giving us the ability to reach out and communicate with you directly. 

To ask for your spirit to intercede on behalf of 

friends, family, and strangers going through difficult times, 

needing extra grace, strength, or wisdom. 

God, I praise you for listening to our concerns, needs, and desires.

For hearing our cries, for ourselves and those nearest to us. 

I don't pause to appreciate how precious it is that you allow us, unworthy as we are, to reach out to you this way as often as I should. 

Thank you, that prayer and communication with you 

can be as natural and easy as breathing, 

that there isn't a bunch of hoopla or ceremonial rituals we need to do first, we can simply breath and speak or think the things on our hearts and burdening our minds. 

Father I praise you for the opportunity to pray for 

two struggling marriages, 

the complications of morning sickness, 

a special request for wisdom, 

new pregnancies, 

future pregnancies for 2 friends,

and a mothers broken heart. 

Father, I thank you in advance for the miracles you are already weaving, 

for the answers you will give to these prayers, 

whether they are the answers we expect or not. 

Lord I praise you for the opportunity to be a part of the good 

you will work in these situations, 

and bringing peace of mind to my friends,

by allowing them to rest when they do not know what to pray, 

knowing that a friend is interceding on their behalf. 

Note to readers: Sorry there isn't a picture for this one. 1. it's just so personal and raw, and 2. hopefully I find my camera cord again soon ;) 

Thankful On Paper

I wanted to link up with the beautiful No. 17 last week for her Thankful on Paper series, however I stumbled and fumbled with figuring out who to write to.


It isn't that I don't have people I am grateful for, I do, I do, I do, I do. However, I think I do a decent job of letting them know how special they are to me.  Also, this year my heart has been so fully and completely blessed, it just didn't feel right, continuing to go on praising the Lord for the many blessings, and not thanking the people whom the Lord used to give us these blessings. 
As I've only met this couple one time, I think it's safe to say they wont stumble upon my blog here before receiving their letter so I'm going to share the letter here with you today. I wrote the letter out on notebook paper and created a card on my computer that I'll sort of recreate for you below. My plan is to get their address tonight and take the boys over there, have them ring the door bell, say thank you and come back to me. Hopefully, this gesture will bless them today, even a fraction of how much we have been blessed. 
Thank YouFor our new home

For the memories that we've made ...
(inside of card) 
And those yet to come. 
Blessings from,The Thomas FamilyBrian, Teresa, Owen and Micah
(back of card) 
Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God every time I remember you.In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.Philippians 1:2-4

Dear Mr & Mrs D, I know this letter is out of the ordinary and definitely out of the blue, but I had to write it nonetheless. Each year around thanksgiving I make an effort to be nostalgic to slow down, think and reflect on my blessings. This year in particular I'm pausing daily to record and share a praise to the Lord with my friend and family online. 
Already, several of the things on my list specifically relate to our home. The front porch and our first ever time passing out candy on Halloween. The millions of leaves and sounds of laughter as the boys played with their dad. The luxury of having a dishwasher. The sunset seen from the beautiful picture window. The bright red fall flowers out front I didn't expect and couldn't love more. 
Since purchasing this home from you we have paused several times, daily, (at first it was several times a day) to praise our Lord for this new home. The beautiful kitchen, the arches, larger room for the boys, the basement, the bones and the solid foundation, the space for a guest bedroom/office, the room to grow, the entryway to keep our coats and shoes without cluttering our home, the garage, fenced in yard, the driveway for bike riding. The size.The style, oh how we hoped for a ranch!The appliances.The extras. Light bulbs, toilet paper, trash bags, clocks, shovels, mops, trash can, air fresheners. You name it, and we were blessed by it, and have probably thanked the Lord for it. There was a challenge online I wanted to follow that said basically to think of the person who has had the greatest impact on your life (right now) someone who has blessed you with or taught you something invaluable and then write them a thank you, on paper. 
We have so many amazing people in our lives, a church family, family, friends and mentors who have blessed us abundantly over the years, through the trials and joys. Parents who define "giving" and "putting love into action,"  so many people whom I would normally expect to be at the top of my thank you list. 
However, looking back at 2011 our greatest blessing was walking through the door of our home, together as husband and wife, parents, homeowners, for the first time. Our journey towards home-ownership finally complete. Our prayers for a safer, homier/roomier place for the boys to grow up, for a place we could decorate and make our own, finally answered. 
I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart for letting the Lord use you to bless us so abundantly, so completely that even still my husband will walk into a room, hold my hands and say "could you love this house anymore?" 
Actually, I fall in love with it a little as each day goes by. 
I do not know your story, how the Lord used you, how He worked through different Realtors or friends, but I do know I am so incredibly grateful that our paths crossed, that your home was on the market long enough for us to find it. 
Thank you for all of your generosity the day we closed, for being willing to sell us this beautiful home, for all of the extras, and for taking such good care of it over the years. 
May the Lord bless you abundantly,Teresa Thomas
Alright readers, that's it for today. Thanks for stopping by my blog, as always I hope that you were blessed by this space. Head over here to check out other Thankful on Paper posts today. 
Don't forget to slow down and enjoy this Season of Thanksgiving and count your blessings. 

A Romans 8:28 Day Continued

I left you when the afternoon was beginning to wind down, my day was coming to a close. I'd had one of my favorite lunches and was feeling great about life in general, feeling charged about getting back into scripture and calling myself out on being a slacker, on allowing my faith to be weakened by laziness and taking a stand against that weakness, which made me feel strong.

Then, the phone rang.

I know this all sounds very dramatic, and I'm afriad you might feel like it was anticlimatic as the story unfolds, but, this phone call, minor that it was, shook me --especially because my faith had been weakened by lack of obedience in reading my Bible-- it threatened my confidence. It made me bawl like a baby. For my baby.

I want to write a piece about being the mother of a child with Hyper-PHE (Non-PKU), my experience and my worries, but this isn't the place. What I will say is that when Micah John was a few days old we had the pleasure of seeing the Lord shock the doctors. They expected him to have severe or classic PKU and instead the results came back just outside of the normal range.

We left the clinic without a diagnosis and with a greater understanding of how BIG our Lord is. However, on the medical side of things, one low test was not/is not enough for a confirmed "mis-diagnosis," the doctors and lab technicians still needed to know whether Micah has the third kind of PKU, Non-PKU where the back up of PHE in the blood is more than normal but not significant enough to cause brain damage or other severe side effects.

So, testing continued. Every few months as an infant and then skip a few tests ;) we finally went in for his one year old clinical appointment (exactly 2 months shy to the day of his 2nd birthday). The doctors were perplexed as I told our story. This test was high, but my wallet touched it. Then next test was just above normal, and I nursed during it to reduce his stress. This test was SUPER high, but the nurse wasn't wearing gloves and touched his blood! The next test, his last test came back lower than my PHE levels were the one time I was tested. (The doctor in training loved me. I made him laugh and laugh. "Does his urine smell bad?" he asks, "I mean, it's urine!?" I said. How does one answer that questions seriously?) This appointment had taken place a week before. I knew the results would be coming, but for 2 years we hadn't had any solid reason to believe our child even had Hyper-PHE.

I truly believe Micah was born with Classic PKU, the doctors proved to us that their testing, skills, and insight are dead on. So I know, Micah had the worst case scenario, and the Lord healed him of that. And until this phone call came in, on my Romans 8:28 day, I still had the ability to believe in a complete healing. A total miracle. I wanted a total miracle, to call the original clinic and say "Hey guess what God did!?!" To use this story to continue telling others of the good that God has done in our life through this, and could do through theirs.

I was expecting another lower-than-normal PHE test, this test had not been compromised, not touched, not taken under higher than average stress, not mishandled. This test was accurate.

This test proves Micah has Hyper-PHE.

It still brings tears to my eyes. I know it could have been worse without the Lords grace and mercy. I know my prayers were answered, just not exactly how I'd hoped for them to be.

My baby is so healthy, doesn't need diet restrictions and doesn't need as many tests as before, or any number of other things that we have never even had to deal with. I am so so blessed.  But on this day, despite my blessings, I was feeling sad, a little scared again because of the dietitians confusing back and forth contradictory conversation with me, and plain old sorry for myself.

The friend I mentioned in yesterdays post talked to me privately for a minute and said "I'm sorry I guess it really is a Romans 8:28 day" I read her words, smiled a little and didn't let them sink in. My heart was sad.

I go and pick up my kiddos, hug my Micah John harder, complain to my friend who watched them, and then went home.

At home, waiting at my front door was a brand new sewing machine, from a friend whom I have prayed for, cried with, and grown to love, through cyber space. I have not met this sweet woman in person, but she felt strongly that I needed a sewing machine, and so she blessed me with one. On this very day when I was feeling lower than I should have, confused, sad and maybe a little forgotten the Lord gave me a sewing machine.

What does a sewing machine have to do with PKU? Nothing. Nothing at all. But as I sat in church the next Sunday evening listening to Pastor Tim preach on Romans 8:28 AGAIN he said that the good is not only the good we will see or experience out of a situation, but also that the Lord loves us and wants to see us happy. He wants to bless us with things that we will enjoy. Like sewing on a new sewing machine. Digging deeper still Pastor went on to say that the good isn't always for us either, but sometimes it's eternal good. Good for the Lord's kingdom. That sadness, pain, trials, and difficult situations can be used by the Lord worked out to bring eternal good that we wont see.

That is when I realized I needed to write about my Romans 8:28 day, because that verse has been made relevent in my life this month, that day, and maybe just maybe someone else is confused by prayers that were answered but not quite the way one expected.

This post holds extra meaning for me today, as I write it thinking about a member of our church who after 7 or 8 years of her family fighting for her, her whole church praying for her, has been taken home to be with the Lord. I wonder what the eternal good is. I am sad for the miracle I believed the Lord would do in her, the testimony I had been waiting to hear. I'm sad for her family who has been so strong, and allowed this to strengthen their faith in times of weakness, and special sadness as a mother, but also as a sister. I keep praying for her brother, our young friend, as he comes home from college under these sad circumstances.

Romans 8:28 a verse that speaks of a love and power that is greater than any I can understand this side of heaven. I am so grateful to be the daughter of a King whom I can trust, even when I'm confused and shaken, I know His purposes are greater than my own. I know that faith in Him is not wasted, and pray I will be that vessel for him to use my circumstances for eternal good.

Blessings By Laura Story

I'm listening to the radio quietly today while trying to be productive for work, getting things lined up for a meeting tonight and two big meetings in the next four weeks, when the chorus of a song stopped me in my tracks.

What if our blessings come through raindrops?
What if our blessings come through tears?

I think of so many times the Lord has blessed us abundantly even amidst trial and pain. I think of how much stronger our love for and trust of the Lord is because of the trials we've been through, the prayers we've uttered, those that were answered and those that were not.

I love this song, the prayers it has awoken, the pain it soothes, the promise it holds.

Enjoy.

The Blessings

Standing in my kitchen building our potato casserole for lunch, watching/hearing my husband mow the lawn through our beautiful kitchen window, cartoon noises filling in around the edges, praying for my friend, my sister, I realized I am richly blessed.

Blessed, not just by the obvious things; a husband who loves me with no limits, boys who astound me with their natural boy-ness, a beautiful new home that meets my every earthly want, friendships as special as any I had as a little girl, parents who love their children before themselves, food on my table for every meal, Star-bursts hiding in the closet for my emotional indulgences, and people to share these blessings with. I praise the Lord for each of those, daily, but today I'm grateful for the deeper blessings, the ones that I don't always even realize I have above others. The blessings of hope, faith, love, and peace.

 I am so abundantly blessed to know about Heaven and know the One who will grant me entrance when I leave this earth. I am blessed to have Jesus in my heart, standing there at the ready to hold me up when my world starts to shake. To have faith that even through pain, suffering, and 9-11, the Lord had a plan and could work through even that sorrow to fulfill His greater purpose. Blessed to know that my child is in Heaven, making new friends in the most beautiful nursery I could ever imagine, even as we speak.

Blessed beyond words today by the prayers of the women in our church. Both today's prayers, and those uttered nearly 3 years ago, prayers I cannot fully recall but the effects of which I can still feel when moments pop up where I'm surprised that life had in fact carried on. How beautiful these women are, their stories each unique and yet the pain similar. How precious it is that we can come together in prayer and share deeply and intimately with each other, how encouraging this was to me this morning, even though I was on the praying side.

Blessed today, by the way my Lord has perfectly and beautifully woven our trials together with our blessings, how our hardest moments are some of my favorite memories, how my faith has increased through each struggle or hiccup, our hope has not wavered but grown stronger, and our love fuller, and our peace quieter.

Standing in the kitchen, feeling the faint fall sun on my cheeks, hearing my husband mowing our new lawn, listening to my children, thinking about my mom on her birthday, remembering what I was doing 10 years ago, cooking lunch and dinner for my family, praying for my friend, my sister, I feel so blessed to have faith and hope, and be filled with His love and peace.

Fifteen Minutes of Praise

My first praise will go all the way back the the beginning. I praise the Lord that even though my mothers labor and delivery of me were touch and go for awhile, that even though the cord was wrapped around my neck, that the drs. asked my real dad who he wanted them to save, both my mother and I lived. I praise the Lord for my life, and for a mother who was alive and present and able to raise me up to the best of her ability. A mom who stayed up too late making the coolest birthday treats, sewing Halloween costumes and puffy painting Christmas sweatshirts. For the traditions she made and the fun parties she threw for my birthdays.

I praise the Lord for my sisters, that I had built in friends to entertain me. Even though it drove me nuts at times to have them, so much younger, tailing my every move I love them both with all of my heart and cannot imagine my life without them.

I praise the Lord today for his protection of me through many missed or minor events like car accidents, horse accidents, stepping on rusty nail accidents, scissors through the hands accidents and the like. Growing up is dangerous and I can truly see how my Father God kept me safe from harm, answering someone's prayers somewhere.

I praise the Lord for my step dad who is for all intents and purposes MY DAD, for his unconditional love of me and acceptance. For his guidance, his good morals and good heart. For his family and their love and acceptance of me. For the memories he has given to me over the years. For the vacations I wouldn't have had, the friends I wouldn't have made, the homes I wouldn't have lived in, the love I wouldn't have known. The rules I wouldn't have had, the things that kept me safe even if I hated them at the time. I praise God for a dad who read to me nightly before bed, who taught me to love the power of story and written words, and didn't give up on me when it seemed like I'd never learn to love reading.

The biggest childhood praise I have is how greatly He protected me from what could have been. I know now how much risk I was in every other weekend as a child and I praise praise praise my God for His hand of protection. I thank Him daily for getting me out of a risky situation before it was too late and Praise Him for helping me heal from what was extremely painful at the time. I still don't understand all of the ins and outs of this blessing but I know that I was greatly spared and I pray for those who were not.

I also praise my Lord for the way the before mentioned praise kept me on the straight and narrow in high school. That my previous experiences gave me a healthy fear of boys and while I crushed hard on a few choice guy's in high school, above all I'm so glad I never had the guts to talk to any of them (smile) and that I was spared the broken heart of many bad relationships. I praise my Lord that this mindset reduced the opportunities for me to get into situations where I would have been in danger or danger of sinning against my future husband.I praise the Lord that I only had 2 or 3 relationships before meeting the man He wanted me to marry and that they were all short lived and relatively unemotionally attached. Relatively.

I praise the Lord for my best friends through the years. That each stage and phase of my life came with one or two new good friends. I praise the Lord that those friendships had always started to drift apart just before the friends started getting into dangerous and bad behavior like sex, drugs, and alcohol. I praise the Lord that my rebellious stage was little more than a belly button ring, a few drinks at dinner with a Turkish friend, a couple of college mild college parties and whatever shenanigans my cousins or friends got me into by association!

I praise my God for small things, things non Christians or baby Christians often overlook as being gifts from God. Things like green lights when I'm running late. Copy machines that work right when I'm in a bind. Teachers who were understanding, papers that shouldn't have been A quality. My senior project speech which I nailed thanks to the answered prayers of my dear Aunt Barbie.

Hmmm.... Would you look at that, my Fifteen Minutes of Praise have come to an end but I'm not even 22 years old yet! ;)

I'll end this hear and do another post of specific prayers I've seen answered soon.

A Christian Bloggers Challenge: (Blank) Minutes of Praise

Then they believed his promises
   and sang his praise. 

But they soon forgot what he had done

and did not wait for his plan to unfold. 

Psalm 106:12-13 (NIV)

I have been blessed by so many answered prayers. There have been so many blessings in our lives, recently with our new home purchase, but I don't want to forget the ones of the past either. Blessings, miracles, answered prayers, whatever you want to call them, that the Lord has given to me. To show me of His love, His mercy, and His faithfulness. However, I also believe He gives us these answered prayers, big and small alike, to remind us later, when we are amidst a trial or walking through a "pivotal circumstance" or suffering a pain larger than any we can imagine, that He is faithful. Just. Pure. Above all else, His plans are perfect.

At Bible Study last night a movie we watched talked about "pivotal circumstances" and called them those times in our life where the Lord uses something to get our attention, to grow our faith, to mature us, to call us closer to Him. It could be something good, like a mission trip that changes your heart and opens it to the poor or the meek, or it could be something painful. Very painful, but in the end, looking back you can often see how the Lord was working, how your faith has grown, and how you were blessed amidst the pain.

Here is an example given by a young woman, probably about my age, this isn't verbatim but pretty close:  

It was 2001 and I was living in New York City, my roommate had set me up with an interview with a company at the very top of the twin towers. I'd gone in and had my interview, was called back for a second interview and was basically hired. They showed me where I was going to sit, what I was going to be doing, who my coworkers were, everything. But a few days later I received a call that said they'd "decided to go with someone else" I was soooooo mad at God. I couldn't believe that He would do that to me. I had already been hired and then He ripped it out from beneath me. I couldn't see past how big of an opportunity this would have been, it was a great job. A couple of months later, it was September 11th, I remember watching the news and sure enough, almost nobody who worked in that office made it out. Almost nobody. I turned to God and said "Ok God, you knew, I know you knew. I trust you."

These things, these "pivotal circumstances" change us, they grow our faith and love for the Lord and they stretch us in ways we can never expect to be stretched. Bless us in ways we don't expect when we are amidst our pain. Unfortunately though, we forget. As time moves forward, our busy lives sweep in, or prayer time fades, our blessings out number our trials and we forget how much we have to be thankful for. We forget our answered prayers, our increased faith, to praise the Lord. Then a new trial slams in around us and threatens to derail us, we struggle amidst new pain and frustration and falter with questions like "Why God? Why?"

I have a friend amidst one of these kinds of events. Struggling to find that fine line between preparing for the worst news possible and yet hanging onto hope in our Lord, hope that as Christians we have a right to have. Hope in the power of miracles and prayer, all the while understanding that while the Lord has the power to answer her prayers, even though it would defy all medical and scientific logic, He also has the power to say no, that this request is not in His master plan. That the pain and suffering is. I love this friend ever so dearly, it is a friendship that has grown slowly over the last 6 years and just within the last year or so really blossomed and bloomed into one of the best friendships I have right now. My heart has not stopped beating a miracle prayer for her and her family and as each day passes my prayer increases. I'm trying to remain confident in my prayer, knowing that He can say yes or no, but believing that He could say yes. Does that make sense?

Then this morning I read the verses that I opened this post with, and I felt the Lord calling me to praise Him and praise Him big today.  To sit down and list my answered prayers, new and old, to shout these blessings and miracles, big and small, from the rooftops or better yet from the blog-tops!

Will you join me today? 

I know I didn't give advance notice on what to write or advertise this, but I truly believe it will serve to build me up, my friend up, and each other up, to take a few minutes today and share these miracles with each other. 

Can you list your answered prayers, miracles, blessings for 5, 10, 15 or 20 minutes today, write them in a blog post titled "# Minutes of Praise" for the Glory of the Lord?

I want to urge each of you to take this challenge and spread it, please. Not for me or for man, but to praise our King. 

I cannot wait to read your praises, blessings, and miracles and join you in praising our Lord together today. 

Lord, please use this post to lift others up, to encourage friends everywhere who are amidst a trial or begging the you for a miracle, to increase the confidence of other believers and to show non believers how amazing Your love is, how unchanging You are. I love you and PRAISE your name today. Help me Lord to remember the things you have done over the years so I can praise your name for all to see Your goodness and Your mercy.  

Amen

Sale Pending! =)

Remember that announcement I hinted at in this Fabulous Post? Well, it could be another 10 days before I know what I wanted to know before telling you what I will then know, and well I can't wait that long because I might literally explode.


I'm not sleeping well because I keep going back and forth between being overwhelmingly excited full of planning or scheming and exceedingly stressed about everything that has to be done in the next few weeks, but can't be started yet! Ah.

The Fabulous Post

Hopefully in a few days I will be able to share some exciting news with you all. In the meantime here are a few hints to chew on.

Hint One: Yesterday my word of the day was fabulous.

Alive and Active

An anxious heart weighs a man down, 

but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 12:25

This afternoon, we had gotten some news/made a decision that was disheartening. I'm confident in the decision we made for our family, but at the same time it was a hard decision to make, and in the end it tugged at my heart, and made me very sad/frustrated. Anxious. But the Lord had other plans for the day, He made it clear He wasn't going to let me sit and wallow.

A Silent Pain

Note: I wrote this piece a week ago, blogger went crazy on me a couple of times and it needed a lot of me to write it and work on it, so it's only now being posted. Blogger is still having issues and messed my spacing all up again, I think I've fixed most of it but if not I'm sorry.

I have three post ideas in my head, each equally vying for my attention. Each of equal import in my heart needing time to process and words to give them life. Tears form little pools in my eyes even as I contemplate the beginning, or which thought to focus on.


I was ten when I came home from school to find my pregnant momma and my Aunt DJ sitting next to each other crying. "What happened?" I asked kneeling on the floor in front of my mom with my backpack still on.
"We lost the baby" one of them said.

That Which Is Not Understandable

It's late. I should be going to bed. But I am heart broken and need to find a voice for my pain. Writing is my outlet, my way of expressing emotions I can not verbally describe, this piece will be raw, it will be blunt, it will be hard to write and hard to read. It might be random, but it is real. My faith is strong, my love and trust of Christ unwavering. I do not question God, I do not dare presume to understand Him, and that is where my pain inlies. In a longing to understand that which is not understandable.

How to Make a Categorized Blog Roll

The more I blog, the more I love it. Everything about it. I love reading what other bloggers contribute, both the deep intricate heart wrenching posts and the fun feel good quips. I was so excited a few months back when I found this tutorial from Clover Lane on how to make a banner with pictures.

This was my first Banner I created using her tutorial!

I'm tempted to make another one, but only for enjoyment, I honestly can't imagine a better header right now. At least not until the we get some new summer pictures. Yes, I love exploring this new world I've discovered and figuring out ways to improve the look and feel of my blog.


That is what I have been doing the last two days. I haven't made any major changes, but I am pleased with the way a few minor tweaks have impacted the overall feel. In addition to changing a few fonts and text colors, I moved my About Me information to it's own page where I also added our love story. I finally figured out how to put an Email Subscription option on my page, and moved both that and the Google Friend Follower to the upper right side for better visibility. However, the change I am most excited about is my new and improved, categorized blog roll!

I had long since noticed other bloggers who had labeled the blogs they followed. I especially love the way Lyndsie did this over at A Love Worth Waiting For categorizing the different blogs she follows as Adoption Blogs I love, Blog Love, and Praying For... I love this! I wanted to do this on my page too but could not figure out how!

Finally yesterday I did a little research. While I didn't find anything that specifically walked me through it, I did discover you CAN use a gadget multiple times. Even still it took talking the process out with my sister Claire from Grimm Adventures before I was finally able to make sense of how it would work. Because I feel like it adds such a polishing touch to a blog I want to share the process here, in case other newer or exploring bloggers are interested.

1. Go into your design elements page and select Add A Gadget
2. Select Blog List
3. Name the List for your category (Example: Christian Bloggers)
4. Add sites to the list using the Select from Blogs I'm Following option
5. Only select the blogs that fall under the category
6. Save the gadget and move the object to your desired location
7. Repeat steps 1-6 for each category you would like to display

Now wasn't that easy? Thank you Claire for helping me make sense of the process. I hope you will all glance at the right side of my blog and check out the updated list of blogs I follow.

I want to draw special attention to Chasing Zebra's featured in the Precious Prayers blog roll. I happen to have a few friends who are related to this little girl. Until now I've only received sporadic prayer updates, but now that they have a blog (and I've seen pictures of this sweet baby princess) my prayer efforts have intensified.

Isn't this picture just absolutely adorable?And heart breaking?

It's strange how connected we are in this world? How strangers upon strangers can layer up on top of one another and come together in a prayerful union to pray for or encourage one another.

I love that! How God can even use our technology to link believers together in prayer, unite with others who have similar experiences, and a way to instantly share their miracles with literally thousands of readers (perhaps a few who need reminders of the Lord's unfailing love?)

Oh, I do love this new world I've entered. I'm not sure what took me so long to hop on the band wagon, with my natural love for writing and reading, I truly am shocked I didn't see the value in blogging years ago.

One last item of Blog Fun, I found this great new site today which is basically a blog catalogue FOR CHRISITANS {{{Can I get a Whoop Whoop?}}} They carefully review each blogger who requests to be listed to be sure that they represent Christian values, have well put together, frequently updated, and well written blogs. Head on over to Faith Blogs and Enjoy!

EDITED: I would also like to add a GIANT THANK YOU to my amazing, talented, generous, graphic designer husband for taking the time to figure out how to fancify my signature! Love it! Love you!

Safe and Sound

If you read Saturday's post you learned of my passion for praying for unborn babies (I think I called it an obsession, which is probably much more accurate). Today I learned that one of my (fairly frequent) acquaintances had an alarming or inconclusive and abnormal ultrasound yesterday. I only know a little and none of it makes sense to me. In a nutshell I was told they found two placentas and that the umbilical cord goes into a membrane before connecting to the baby (?). As if that isn't enough, they also found evidence that leads them to believe this baby might have downs-syndrome.