Where I Belong

I am pro life.

I always have been. Quietly, believing that no matter the circumstances God has an amazing plan for every child.

I believed it, I lived it, but I didn't affectionately feel it, until I suffered a miscarriage.

The presidential election was close at hand when I was grieving the loss of my child.  I can vividly remember sitting at work one day listening to a Focus on the Family broadcast about Obama and his stance on abortion, a woman was giving a very graphic testimony about living through an abortion, and I was a blubbering mess.

My love for all things baby had grown exponentially through my loss. I've shared before that as a result of my loss I now have a heart for pregnant women, for grieving women, that I pray fervently for babies growing and mommies grieving for months and months after the birth or loss, and love to see prayers answered for beautiful, healthy, full term babies.

With a heart like that, it's embarrassing to admit how easily I've overlooked the fight against abortion.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

People who know me, know what I believe.

That's enough.

Isn't it?

Last night, I crawled out from under the rock I've apparently been living under, long enough to discover that aborted fetus' are used in all kinds of disturbing ways. PepsiCo uses them to help research flavor enhancement. Say what? The article does say the fetal cells do not end up in the end product, but that doesn't make sense to me and I still find it extremely disgusting.

My heart began to break for those children, for first steps that were never taken, kisses never given, "I love you's" never uttered.

Soon I was crying for my baby in heaven, for how delusional this world is. For what we have taken for granted, for the blessing we have denied, killed and turned a blind eye to.

Immediately, I decided not to purchase Pepsi Products anymore, so long to my good friend "All Natural" Sierra Mist. Then, it was brought to my attention that aborted fetuses are also used in and to cultivate cells for vaccinations.

Seriously?

I started clicking on a million links. Did you know Pepsi also makes Gatorade and Aquafina? Or that other companies are involved and the list of products that contain aborted fetuses and by association therefore support abortion is a full page long?

Am I in affect, supporting abortion if I grab a pack of Trident when I check out?

It didn't take long before my burden began to turn into anxiety.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

I didn't even know how to pray as I was falling asleep. What to say, do or feel. I rested in the knowledge that the Spirit knows my heart and can turn my gut wrenching silence into the most beautiful of prayers.

Even though all was dark and quiet these words began to soothe me to sleep.

All I know is I'm not home yet,

This is not where I belong.

Take this world and give me Jesus,

This is not where I belong. 

When the earth shakes,

I wanna be found in you. 

When the lights fade,

I wanna be found in you. 

Building 429 Where I belong 

This morning I was reading/praying my Psalm of the day, number 5 as I somehow thought today was March 5th. Where they didn't bring me answers to the zillions of questions I now have swirling around in my head, they did bring me comfort.

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
Consider my meditation.
2 Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
3 My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.

4 For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.
5 The boastful shall not stand in Your sight;
You hate all workers of iniquity.
6 You shall destroy those who speak falsehood;
The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

7 But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;
In fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple.
8 Lead me, O Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before my face.

9 For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
Their inward part is destruction;
Their throat is an open tomb;
They flatter with their tongue.
10 Pronounce them guilty, O God!
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions,
For they have rebelled against You.

11 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
12 For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

Even though the morning brought comfort the weight was still heavy, the fight is still too big, too controversial, and I'm still just one me.

Perusing links again, I stumbled on Every Life Is Beautiful, a site created by the makers of October Baby a movie about an abortion survivor (I shared the preview here a few weeks back, so excited to see this amazing story in theaters). The site is basically a series of videos from people involved in the movie, sharing their testimonies about why Every Life Is Beautiful. The first video hit me right where I needed to be hit. It came up automatically when I opened the page and is of Jon Erwin, the Co-Director of October Baby.

I think the movies that inspire me are the ones that, that have some story or redemption in them. People fighting and dying for things that are bigger than themselves.

Yeah, me too, Jon Erwin. Me too.

This is me, living my story.

I'm not sure what the answers are to my questions, and I honestly might not even know all of the questions yet. But I know the difference between right and wrong, I know that if I keep seeking and asking the Lord will make His way straight before my face.

I can start by:
Joining the voices of others.
Opening my eyes, staying up to date with the news, and researching that which I don't understand.
Saying good bye as I finish the bottle of Sierra Mist in my fridge.
Making an honest effort not to purchase Pepsi Products.
And by supporting and promoting the movie October Baby.

And most importantly I need to remember that my joy is found in Him and not to let this world get to me, because ultimately I am not home yet, this is not where I belong.




Do you stand against abortion? How do you avoid inadvertently supporting abortion or other strong convictions? Do you have any tips or tricks on how to live in this world without conforming to it? I'd love to hear your stories!

October Baby

This preview is very intriguing. 

Endorsed by the makers of Fireproof and Courageous. 

I'm excited to see how this story-line plays out and how this movie will inspire our nation. 

Thoughts From My Husband

Tonight my husband said ten words to me I never expected to hear, "Honey, I want to write a guest post on your blog." I immediately began imagining several different post ideas he might have about our family, our love, or something cutesy and fun like that. Little did I know what heaviness the Lord had been laying on his heart lately.

It is with great honor, and admittedly a little reserve, that I bring to you his thoughts on this controversial topic. I love and respect my husband dearly and fully agree with his perspective, though I often remain quiet on the subject.

~~~~~~~~~~~

So as I have been driving to work over the past several months I have seen several billboards dealing with the topic of homosexuality. These billboards spaces have been purchased by churches to get a message across. One of the billboards was from a church whose denomination I won’t mention because it’s not that important. On the billboard it said "We believe being gay is a gift from God".  This same church put out another billboard that said "Making a place at gods table regardless of sexual orientation or gender." The reason I’m writing this post is because it is a topic that seems to be more prevalent in today's society than ever before. Is being gay a sin? Are people born gay? I have had many things swirling around my mind as never before regarding this topic and just writing about it may cause a firestorm, which I am ok with even though that is not my intention.

The Book of Romans chapter 1:18-31 says the following:

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19 because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. 20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.

24 Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, to dishonor their bodies among themselves, 25 who exchanged the truth of God for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

28 And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting; 29 being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality,[c] wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30 backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31 undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving,[d] unmerciful; 32 who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

It is very clear, according to God’s word, that what the church stated in their billboard is indeed false. Being gay is not a gift from God but actually a judgment.  This scripture is very clear and in no way is it fuzzy or able to be misinterpreted.  Homosexuality is seen as a shameful act in the site of God as shown in verse 27.  When a person is living in sin (any sin) without question they either want to cover it up or make it acceptable so they no longer have to feel the shame they once had. I believe this what is behind the push now days by gay activists for rights and to deem it as something that is out their control. If it is something that is deemed out of their control they can cure their conscience of acts that are clearly wrong in the site of God.  Homosexuality is something that is called shameful in the sight of God we are certainly not born that way but rather those who practice such things choose that direction for themselves. 

People love to stand up for other people when they feel they are being persecuted against or bullied, which is highly commendable. If you see someone getting bullied or picked on in school, naturally it's in most people to come to the defense of the individual that is getting hurt or treated unfairly. Same thing could be said in the work place. If you feel that someone is being unfairly treated at work, you would want to stick up for that person. But is it OK to stand up for someone who is in the wrong?  One of the most discussed topics in the bible is loving others, but real love requires truth to be spoken. If you have a homosexual friend show him real love and point out his wrongdoing in love, don’t sugarcoat everything and endorse his sinful life thinking you are being a loving friend. God is a god of love, but also our Just Judge. If someone is caught in sin whether its homosexuality or anything else for that matter we should not be ashamed to speak up against it. It says in Galatians 6:1 this:  1 Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. I like this verse because it also warns you to be careful yourself and not think too highly of yourself. It is clear that speaking the truth to them is what a Christian ought to do in a humble and loving manner, not in a hostile or proud manner.

There is a balance that must be achieved in truth and love. Today we tend to go too far to one side or the other, favoring the love characteristic of our Savior and not understanding the Holy God who judges us. Or, on the opposite side of things, being angry and/or hostile to those who are caught in sin and not recognizing and confessing our own sins. There are those who speak up against such things as homosexuality but love is excluded from the process. Because of these extremes the church gets a black eye and it pains those who try their best to live according God's word.

It is a horrible thing to see some churches embracing things that are contrary to God and because of the measure of this in today's society I believe that judgment will be coming to our country if we continue on in the same manner we are. A holy God, even in his grace, cannot withhold his wrath forever.

As we continue on in this direction as a country and a world for that matter, I believe Christians will be persecuted greatly for their stance on this topic. Many will cave in and call homosexuality acceptable as we have already seen, but for those who stand up firm against it and don’t deny the faith, their beliefs will be seen as hatred and bigotry, and I believe it will be illegal to speak up against those who are homosexual and eventually it will be considered a hate crime. Pastors will be forced by the government to marry homosexuals or face penalties. I’m dreading the day where we cannot speak freely what we believe without repercussion, but God is in control.

If you disagree with me, you are welcome to, I choose to believe what scripture says and I believe it as truth. As Joshua 24:15 says:  "But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD"