The Blessings

Standing in my kitchen building our potato casserole for lunch, watching/hearing my husband mow the lawn through our beautiful kitchen window, cartoon noises filling in around the edges, praying for my friend, my sister, I realized I am richly blessed.

Blessed, not just by the obvious things; a husband who loves me with no limits, boys who astound me with their natural boy-ness, a beautiful new home that meets my every earthly want, friendships as special as any I had as a little girl, parents who love their children before themselves, food on my table for every meal, Star-bursts hiding in the closet for my emotional indulgences, and people to share these blessings with. I praise the Lord for each of those, daily, but today I'm grateful for the deeper blessings, the ones that I don't always even realize I have above others. The blessings of hope, faith, love, and peace.

 I am so abundantly blessed to know about Heaven and know the One who will grant me entrance when I leave this earth. I am blessed to have Jesus in my heart, standing there at the ready to hold me up when my world starts to shake. To have faith that even through pain, suffering, and 9-11, the Lord had a plan and could work through even that sorrow to fulfill His greater purpose. Blessed to know that my child is in Heaven, making new friends in the most beautiful nursery I could ever imagine, even as we speak.

Blessed beyond words today by the prayers of the women in our church. Both today's prayers, and those uttered nearly 3 years ago, prayers I cannot fully recall but the effects of which I can still feel when moments pop up where I'm surprised that life had in fact carried on. How beautiful these women are, their stories each unique and yet the pain similar. How precious it is that we can come together in prayer and share deeply and intimately with each other, how encouraging this was to me this morning, even though I was on the praying side.

Blessed today, by the way my Lord has perfectly and beautifully woven our trials together with our blessings, how our hardest moments are some of my favorite memories, how my faith has increased through each struggle or hiccup, our hope has not wavered but grown stronger, and our love fuller, and our peace quieter.

Standing in the kitchen, feeling the faint fall sun on my cheeks, hearing my husband mowing our new lawn, listening to my children, thinking about my mom on her birthday, remembering what I was doing 10 years ago, cooking lunch and dinner for my family, praying for my friend, my sister, I feel so blessed to have faith and hope, and be filled with His love and peace.

She went, for the coffee.

When I was priming our new bathroom the other night, the Lord really started impressing on me, and well, I think He wants me to buy a coffee maker. I don't think He care's that much about the maker itself, it's more about the coffee and whose drinking the coffee, and what they could be talking about when they are drinking it.

Let me back up for a minute. Earlier that night I'd taken the kids for a walk and one of the houses near by had a group of people sitting at tables in their driveway. Owen was interested and said "Mom, look" well a minute later (Owen had ridden ahead praise the Lord) some guy shouts "what you looking at *****." I was so mad! But I was also frustrated, here we have heard nothing but good things about the neighborhood and then for this to happen. I've been praying so hard for a new home and a safe location and I just couldn't believe that within weeks of moving in there would be cause for concern like that.

However, I've also been praying that I wouldn't let anything rob me of my joy and the blessing of this new home that the Lord provided for us. So I tried very hard to make sure this didn't steal my joy, and that I don't automatically discount that whole house because of this one incident.

So, fast forward to later that evening when I was priming my bathroom and talking to God between thoughts and ideas, and pondering what had happened as well as some other conversations I'd had with our neighbors to our immediate right whom I really enjoy, when I thought about coffee.

I don't drink coffee, so for me to be thinking about coffee is a little bit odd. We just got rid of a small coffee maker that we got for our wedding, having registered for it so that over night guests could use it, but after 6.5 years it still sat unused (unless you count the skittles Owen kept in it for awhile). I started to remember about some bible studies which a friend of mine used to have, and before she hosted them a neighbor of her's hosted them, and while she wasn't a believer she went, for the coffee.

As I began chewing on that one thought, the greater it began to grow. We aren't yet settled into our new place, I haven't yet discussed this with my husband, or asked my friend if she'd consider leading the study, and I've only officially met two neighbors, but the more I think about it the more this idea feels like it is from the Lord. In fact, I was supposed to have some friends over yesterday and had to cancel because one of the boys was recovering from hand foot and mouth, but prior to the cancellation of that event I'd read these verses during my devotion time and kept thinking on them, chewing on them, trying to make them fit into my life, or my idea of how I was going to use my new house for the Lord (ie inviting over church friends, youth group events, letting Owen have sleep overs, girls nights, couples nights, family meals etc).

"A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses.(...)The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' 'Sir,' the servant said 'what you have ordered has been done, but there is still room.' Then the master told his servant, 'Go, out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full.'" Luke 14: 16-23

I wish I had my study bible with me so I could quote what the note said, but basically the gist of it was, not to merely invite your friends over because you will be repaid by them or be repaying them for when they have or have had you over, but to instead invite strangers and the poor, to bless others without any expectation or hopes of being blessed in return.

When I was first thinking on these verses I took poor to mean poor, in the literal sense, but now I'm realizing the Lord is calling me to reach out to people in my neighborhood who are poor figuratively. Poor in spirit, or poor in knowledge of Christ.

For a long time now I haven't had a platform for leading non Christians to the Lord. I work in a christian office where I occasionally associate with a church secretary or associational team member, I go to church three times a week, and my best friends are Christians. I use this space here to encourage my fellow Christian friends and hopefully reach a few of my non christian acquaintances on Facebook. 

My husband and I were talking last week about how much we love our home (can someone say "honeymoon phase"?) when I mentioned how much I love our new location. It wasn't a place I had thought of, or specifically looked for. I'd been leaning towards something closer to my church (better schools, closer to friends, more in the country) and when we found this house I knew the location would work but I didn't realize how much I would love being in a nicer neighborhood, being able to go on long walks with the kids, seeing other kids riding their bikes and playing in yards. Now, I'm realizing that God's plans were even greater than that still, I'm realizing that I can be used here, that people need Jesus and I know him.

Stay tuned to see what kind of coffee maker I end up buying, because at this point I know the Lord wants me to do it, and when the Lord say's "buy a coffee maker" you can't turn your back. Well, I guess you could but it wouldn't turn out well, just ask Jonah.

We All Need a Hero

As I was getting ready this morning, I was listening to the boys in the other room. Per their usual routine, Owen was goofing around, Micah chattering from his chair, and the sounds of 'Super Why' wafted between them.

The closing song began "Hip hip hooray..." and the boys both began singing along. I could hear Owen jumping along to it and Micah's "I, i, oooraaaay" in time to the music. Even though I wasn't standing in the room watching, I know they were both waving (or rather swinging) their hands along with the song. I know this because I've seen it before and it happens almost daily.

Palm Sunday

Have you ever stopped to think about how quickly life changes? Looking back on my life, all of the major events, significant life changes, have happened abruptly. 

The first of these changes happened in 7th grade when I was adopted from my real father by my step father (who is my real father, in every definition of the word, my dad, my daddy, my hero). One day I was any other freshman gettting ready for volleyball tryouts, the next I had a broken shoulder, and my mother was soon there after diagnosed with MS. The 4th of July 2006 was any other celebration a fun weekend we shared with my sister the 5th of July we were diagnosed with cancer. (Genesis 2:24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.) The morning October 16th 2008 I was happily pregnant with our second child, that evening I was learning how to mourn the loss of someone I'd never met but couldn't have loved more. Celebrating the joy of a newborn one minute, shouldering concerns and fears over bad test results the next.

I'm sure this is how it felt to Jesus. Living a normal (his father is God, nothing about his is normal, but you know relatively speaking) life one minute then having it all turned upside down. First to be worshiped and praised greater than any fanfare we could imagine. Though I do have an image in my head of thousands upon thousands of people singing and laughing with faces and eyes lit up. Akin to the reaction of a group five year old's when Santa finally rides by on his reindeer at the end of an exciting parade. Electric, contagious, unhindered, unmistakable joy. I wonder if Jesus was able to enjoy the praise he so rightly deserved, or if he knew all to well what was coming. That tomorrow this praise would begin to be slowly replaced by another contagious emotion. Fear or perhaps it was greed. What came first, the chicken or the egg? 

Yes, one moment things were beautiful and the next He was suffering a death more painful than any I could imagine.

Every Easter season it seems I find myself indignantly thinking HOW???? How could they have done this to MY KING???? I would have known! I would have KNOWN. If I'd been there, if I'd been alive, I WOULD HAVE KNOWN! I think that somehow I would be stronger, smarter, more faithful. I would have remembered our praises from the week before. I would not so quickly be persuaded by fear. My heart would have known who he was and what to do about it. Yes that's right, every Easter I begin to think (even just a little bit) that I SINGLE HANDILY COULD HAVE CHANGED HISTORY :) I'm just that good.

Eventually the slightly more honest part of me might ashamedly admit that my anti-confrontational personality really wouldn't have done anything. I would have been an innocent bystander standing in the crowds, crying tears of remorse at what everyone else had done to him.

The fact is it's just so hard, and painful, to imagine standing at the foot of the cross and denying Christ. But that's the sin of pride making itself present in my life. This morning I was reminded that I'm a sinner, and denying that sinful nature, standing behind pride and indignation, is in and of itself a sin.

I think that somehow I would be stronger, smarter, more faithful. I would have remembered our praises from the week before. I would not so quickly be persuaded by fear.

The truth is I do this weekly, sometimes daily. I think it's safe to say we all do.

On Sunday I stand amongst my church family and sing praise songs "You are my all in all."

You are my Messiah! 

The alarm clock goes off on Monday morning and I think "this is ridiculous, I don't get enough sleep, how can I be expected to function, sleep is the MOST important thing."  
We want Barabass! 
 
I easily remind friends "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Praise be to the Lord! 

"The doctor bills are HOW MUCH? How are we going to pay for that? That will kill our savings."

Give us Barabass! 

I pray for patience and praises for our health nightly before bed and oft several times during the day.

Hosanna in the highest

Another fever, another copay, another day off of work. I fret, I worry, I struggle. I get frustrated or angry because I have to shoulder this burden ALONE. I'm the only one this affects, the only one who deals with it, who CAN deal with it.  
Barabass! Barabass! Barabass!


How could they have done this to MY KING???? The truth is I DO THIS TO MY KING.

One of the most universal examples pastor gave was this: on Sunday one sings You are My God on Monday "My God," becomes a curse word. "My God, why would you do that?" I see this type of thing on Facebook all the time Christians who say FML (*** My Life). I love you Lord, I hate my life. I'll serve you King, let me have 10 more minutes of sleep first. You are my God, I need more money/things.

I stand at the foot of the cross everyday, and everyday I have a choice. "You are my God," or "Barabass Barabass!"

Picture Source

 This week represents the time my Lord laid down His life for ME. He died for me, even while I was still a sinner. This week I really want to focus on what I can do, to make more of an effort to die to myself daily and take up the cross for Christ.

My Irish Blessing

I want to start out by giving a bit of a caveat before I continue. Those who know me well have heard this testimony, perhaps many times, but it is one I never tire of. One I will never forget as long as I live. This testimony moves me to tears, laughter and joy. It stirs faith, hope and love inside of me like none other. If you know the story, I pray you will read it anyway and share in our joy and glean whatever new insights the Lord might have for you today.

This is the story of my beautiful boy. Born in the wee hours of March 17th 2007.

What is your "Black Friday" profit going to be?

(Published as an FB Note on November 26th 2010)

Last "Black Friday" we hardly slept the night before, and were up before the sun, anxious. Others rushed around with fleeting thoughts of free coffee, early bird deals, and finding the perfect gifts, while we packed up our precious new born and drove to Detroit Children's with our stomachs in our chests and hearts in our throats.