I left you when the afternoon was beginning to wind down, my day was coming to a close. I'd had one of my favorite lunches and was feeling great about life in general, feeling charged about getting back into scripture and calling myself out on being a slacker, on allowing my faith to be weakened by laziness and taking a stand against that weakness, which made me feel strong.
Then, the phone rang.
I know this all sounds very dramatic, and I'm afriad you might feel like it was anticlimatic as the story unfolds, but, this phone call, minor that it was, shook me --especially because my faith had been weakened by lack of obedience in reading my Bible-- it threatened my confidence. It made me bawl like a baby. For my baby.
I want to write a piece about being the mother of a child with Hyper-PHE (Non-PKU), my experience and my worries, but this isn't the place. What I will say is that when Micah John was a few days old we had the pleasure of seeing the Lord shock the doctors. They expected him to have severe or classic PKU and instead the results came back just outside of the normal range.
We left the clinic without a diagnosis and with a greater understanding of how BIG our Lord is. However, on the medical side of things, one low test was not/is not enough for a confirmed "mis-diagnosis," the doctors and lab technicians still needed to know whether Micah has the third kind of PKU, Non-PKU where the back up of PHE in the blood is more than normal but not significant enough to cause brain damage or other severe side effects.
So, testing continued. Every few months as an infant and then skip a few tests ;) we finally went in for his one year old clinical appointment (exactly 2 months shy to the day of his 2nd birthday). The doctors were perplexed as I told our story. This test was high, but my wallet touched it. Then next test was just above normal, and I nursed during it to reduce his stress. This test was SUPER high, but the nurse wasn't wearing gloves and touched his blood! The next test, his last test came back lower than my PHE levels were the one time I was tested. (The doctor in training loved me. I made him laugh and laugh. "Does his urine smell bad?" he asks, "I mean, it's urine!?" I said. How does one answer that questions seriously?) This appointment had taken place a week before. I knew the results would be coming, but for 2 years we hadn't had any solid reason to believe our child even had Hyper-PHE.
I truly believe Micah was born with Classic PKU, the doctors proved to us that their testing, skills, and insight are dead on. So I know, Micah had the worst case scenario, and the Lord healed him of that. And until this phone call came in, on my Romans 8:28 day, I still had the ability to believe in a complete healing. A total miracle. I wanted a total miracle, to call the original clinic and say "Hey guess what God did!?!" To use this story to continue telling others of the good that God has done in our life through this, and could do through theirs.
I was expecting another lower-than-normal PHE test, this test had not been compromised, not touched, not taken under higher than average stress, not mishandled. This test was accurate.
This test proves Micah has Hyper-PHE.
It still brings tears to my eyes. I know it could have been worse without the Lords grace and mercy. I know my prayers were answered, just not exactly how I'd hoped for them to be.
My baby is so healthy, doesn't need diet restrictions and doesn't need as many tests as before, or any number of other things that we have never even had to deal with. I am so so blessed. But on this day, despite my blessings, I was feeling sad, a little scared again because of the dietitians confusing back and forth contradictory conversation with me, and plain old sorry for myself.
The friend I mentioned in yesterdays post talked to me privately for a minute and said "I'm sorry I guess it really is a Romans 8:28 day" I read her words, smiled a little and didn't let them sink in. My heart was sad.
I go and pick up my kiddos, hug my Micah John harder, complain to my friend who watched them, and then went home.
At home, waiting at my front door was a brand new sewing machine, from a friend whom I have prayed for, cried with, and grown to love, through cyber space. I have not met this sweet woman in person, but she felt strongly that I needed a sewing machine, and so she blessed me with one. On this very day when I was feeling lower than I should have, confused, sad and maybe a little forgotten the Lord gave me a sewing machine.
What does a sewing machine have to do with PKU? Nothing. Nothing at all. But as I sat in church the next Sunday evening listening to Pastor Tim preach on Romans 8:28 AGAIN he said that the good is not only the good we will see or experience out of a situation, but also that the Lord loves us and wants to see us happy. He wants to bless us with things that we will enjoy. Like sewing on a new sewing machine. Digging deeper still Pastor went on to say that the good isn't always for us either, but sometimes it's eternal good. Good for the Lord's kingdom. That sadness, pain, trials, and difficult situations can be used by the Lord worked out to bring eternal good that we wont see.
That is when I realized I needed to write about my Romans 8:28 day, because that verse has been made relevent in my life this month, that day, and maybe just maybe someone else is confused by prayers that were answered but not quite the way one expected.
This post holds extra meaning for me today, as I write it thinking about a member of our church who after 7 or 8 years of her family fighting for her, her whole church praying for her, has been taken home to be with the Lord. I wonder what the eternal good is. I am sad for the miracle I believed the Lord would do in her, the testimony I had been waiting to hear. I'm sad for her family who has been so strong, and allowed this to strengthen their faith in times of weakness, and special sadness as a mother, but also as a sister. I keep praying for her brother, our young friend, as he comes home from college under these sad circumstances.
Romans 8:28 a verse that speaks of a love and power that is greater than any I can understand this side of heaven. I am so grateful to be the daughter of a King whom I can trust, even when I'm confused and shaken, I know His purposes are greater than my own. I know that faith in Him is not wasted, and pray I will be that vessel for him to use my circumstances for eternal good.
Showing posts with label PKU. Show all posts
Showing posts with label PKU. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Monday, October 10, 2011
A Romans 8:28 Day
This post has been simmering in my mind with no time to type it up for a week now, about events that occurred two weeks ago, so you can expect a very personal post with real revelations about my Lord based in experience and shared with love.
I remember back when I was in high school and college I would be well established in my routine, 8 or 9 weeks into a semester when I'd be walking to class and spot someone I'd never seen before. Once I noticed a girl because of the rich red color of her hair, or I'd notice a boy talking to the kid I was crushing on, or I'd catch a backpack that attracted my attention. It was usually something small that would awaken my eyes, one little detail about a person I'd never ever seen would resonate in my memory and then, as if by magic, I would see them everywhere. Amazing how it would happen, before class, after class, at lunch, in the girls room, in the parking lot, at Meijer, in the dorms, in my class, at Sage Student Union. Everywhere I went they would be there. Almost as if, simply knowing they existed made them a significant part of my world. Knowing they existed made them relevant to me.
In my walk with the Lord, I see him use this same technique with bible verses. I'll read a verse in my morning devotions, someone will mention the same verse in passing, I'll see it on an FB status, Sunday School will dissect it, then my bible study will reference it, and finally, I'll need it. Have you been there? That place where all of a sudden you realize you've been exposed to the same verse 5 times in under 3 weeks, or maybe 10 times in as many days.
I vividly remember the first time I realized that the Lord was speaking to me through a verse by doing this. The date was July 2006. We were sitting in our Young Adult Sunday School class, and for whatever reason our regular teacher wasn't there and in his place was an older man, a dear friend to my husband and I, the husband of my "church mom". He opened up his bible and said "Today, we are going to look at Philippians 4:4"
Without hesitation I said "That's the 4th time I've seen or heard that verse this week!" This week, being either the week we found out my husband had cancer, or the next week when we found out he might not be able to have kids AND I was already pregnant, I can't remember which. Tom pulled his chair up (breaking the circle) close to me and said "That means the Lord is trying to teach you something, this is your verse. This lesson is for you."
When I look back at that trial I can feel this verse "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" This verse really does reflect how we tried to live through that time, how we feel about it even now looking back. I could go on, but this post isn't about that, if you want to read more about that go here.
Thanks to Toms words, I try to pay closer attention when I realize a verse has popped up more than once. I don't just pay attention to the verse either, I start to keep my eyes peeled or my nerves stand on end a little, waiting, watching, to see what it is the Lord is doing or about to do in my life, to which I will need the verse. Well, let me tell you, the last month has been a Romans 8:28 month. The verse has been everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Somehow I'd read it three or four times, I'd seen it in my bible study book, on a friends blog, and then went to the PM service at church 3 Sunday's ago and Pastor was preaching on that verse. One verse.
(sidebar: Have I mentioned to you how much I love our pastor? He is a young guy but he is spiritually gifted with wisdom beyond his years, a passion for God's word that is contagious, and when he speaks from the pulpit the Lord uses him to speak directly to you. While his AM messages are poignant and good, his evening messages give him the opportunity to dig deeper into the passages and really pull stuff apart for us.)
I sat up straighter as I listened to him, knowing that somehow that lesson in particular was for me. This is a verse I love, I even have it at the bottom of the first post I linked to, I reference it often, I pray it when a friend is hurting, I recite it when I'm unsure. I enjoyed listening to my pastor dissect it and break it down, but on this night, there weren't any great revelations about the verse that I didn't already know.
Fast forward with me to Tuesday of that week. I was having a magnificent day, I'd written this post which I just loved because it was funny, held personal conviction, and spoke of truth. I glanced in at facebook and my friend ~Jes~ had "It's a Romans 8:28 day" on her status. I mulled on that, and honestly had to go find the verse (how easily our minds forget) and thought Oooooh that verse. again. Wow. I went and got myself a late lunch of Jimmy Johns then came back and saw a former youth group student whose status merely said "Romans 8:28."
That's the second time, in two hours I saw the verse as a status, and not the whole verse, just the address. So I went and looked it up again, mind you I have this verse memorized but for some reason, on this day I had to look at it, in black and white.
To be continued...
I remember back when I was in high school and college I would be well established in my routine, 8 or 9 weeks into a semester when I'd be walking to class and spot someone I'd never seen before. Once I noticed a girl because of the rich red color of her hair, or I'd notice a boy talking to the kid I was crushing on, or I'd catch a backpack that attracted my attention. It was usually something small that would awaken my eyes, one little detail about a person I'd never ever seen would resonate in my memory and then, as if by magic, I would see them everywhere. Amazing how it would happen, before class, after class, at lunch, in the girls room, in the parking lot, at Meijer, in the dorms, in my class, at Sage Student Union. Everywhere I went they would be there. Almost as if, simply knowing they existed made them a significant part of my world. Knowing they existed made them relevant to me.
In my walk with the Lord, I see him use this same technique with bible verses. I'll read a verse in my morning devotions, someone will mention the same verse in passing, I'll see it on an FB status, Sunday School will dissect it, then my bible study will reference it, and finally, I'll need it. Have you been there? That place where all of a sudden you realize you've been exposed to the same verse 5 times in under 3 weeks, or maybe 10 times in as many days.
I vividly remember the first time I realized that the Lord was speaking to me through a verse by doing this. The date was July 2006. We were sitting in our Young Adult Sunday School class, and for whatever reason our regular teacher wasn't there and in his place was an older man, a dear friend to my husband and I, the husband of my "church mom". He opened up his bible and said "Today, we are going to look at Philippians 4:4"
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!
Without hesitation I said "That's the 4th time I've seen or heard that verse this week!" This week, being either the week we found out my husband had cancer, or the next week when we found out he might not be able to have kids AND I was already pregnant, I can't remember which. Tom pulled his chair up (breaking the circle) close to me and said "That means the Lord is trying to teach you something, this is your verse. This lesson is for you."
When I look back at that trial I can feel this verse "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" This verse really does reflect how we tried to live through that time, how we feel about it even now looking back. I could go on, but this post isn't about that, if you want to read more about that go here.
Thanks to Toms words, I try to pay closer attention when I realize a verse has popped up more than once. I don't just pay attention to the verse either, I start to keep my eyes peeled or my nerves stand on end a little, waiting, watching, to see what it is the Lord is doing or about to do in my life, to which I will need the verse. Well, let me tell you, the last month has been a Romans 8:28 month. The verse has been everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. Somehow I'd read it three or four times, I'd seen it in my bible study book, on a friends blog, and then went to the PM service at church 3 Sunday's ago and Pastor was preaching on that verse. One verse.
(sidebar: Have I mentioned to you how much I love our pastor? He is a young guy but he is spiritually gifted with wisdom beyond his years, a passion for God's word that is contagious, and when he speaks from the pulpit the Lord uses him to speak directly to you. While his AM messages are poignant and good, his evening messages give him the opportunity to dig deeper into the passages and really pull stuff apart for us.)
I sat up straighter as I listened to him, knowing that somehow that lesson in particular was for me. This is a verse I love, I even have it at the bottom of the first post I linked to, I reference it often, I pray it when a friend is hurting, I recite it when I'm unsure. I enjoyed listening to my pastor dissect it and break it down, but on this night, there weren't any great revelations about the verse that I didn't already know.
Fast forward with me to Tuesday of that week. I was having a magnificent day, I'd written this post which I just loved because it was funny, held personal conviction, and spoke of truth. I glanced in at facebook and my friend ~Jes~ had "It's a Romans 8:28 day" on her status. I mulled on that, and honestly had to go find the verse (how easily our minds forget) and thought Oooooh that verse. again. Wow. I went and got myself a late lunch of Jimmy Johns then came back and saw a former youth group student whose status merely said "Romans 8:28."
That's the second time, in two hours I saw the verse as a status, and not the whole verse, just the address. So I went and looked it up again, mind you I have this verse memorized but for some reason, on this day I had to look at it, in black and white.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.Now, if I had been smart, I would have let that nugget fill me up. I would have remembered the goodness of God, and felt peace even amidst the smallest of tribulations. But I didn't.
To be continued...
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