Small Changes, Big Impact, Becoming Rooted

Good morning friends,
The last Sunday of 2012 our Pastor gave an amazing sermon on the importance of taking inventory. He talked about how the end of the year sales provided stores with an opportunity to take inventory of their stock and reassess their business goals and merchandise for the coming year, and said that as Christians we should assess our year, ask our selves if we met certain criteria and regroup, refocus for the coming year. He used Colossians chapter 3 as a tool for taking said inventory and then pounded us with some difficult questions.

Was your heart set on things above or earthly treasures?
Are you reading your Bible and praying daily?
Did you see spiritual growth this year?
Did you lead anybody to Christ?
Did you even share your faith or witness to anyone?
Can your children see your faith alive in your life?
Did they see you reading, praying, leaning on the Lord this last year?
Are you clothed with kindness, compassion, gentleness and patience?
Does the peace of Christ rule in your heart?
And finally, can you honestly say that whatever you do, whether in word or deed, you do it all in the name of the Lord with a heart and attitude of praise?

Some of these questions hit my husband and I at the core. We started out 2012 with a lot of goals/resolutions, big grand ideas of things we would do to draw our family closer to the Lord etc etc etc, but as each day came to a close, like waves of the tide beating a sandy shore, our resolve faded and time slipped away from us like sand into the ocean. Overall, the year was a wash.

In 2011 Owen knew memory verse after memory verse, in 2012  not only did we fail in teaching him any more, we failed in helping him recall the ones he already knew (let alone starting to work with Micah). I had intended to blog regularly, but had excuse after excuse not to. I'd vowed not to watch tv on weeknights in order to bring glory to God and focus more on my writing and within 10 days I failed. Were we effective in sharing our faith or bringing others to the Lord? There are people we've been praying for, but is that all we are called to do? Can we honestly say there weren't any missed opportunities? I think not.

There were moments and seasons in 2012 where we both saw growth, or were walking effectively, but overall 2012 was not our best year. And yet, despite our lazy sluggard ways, despite our failures or indifference, the Lord chose to keep us in a season of blessings. Showering gift after gift down on us. What a loving God we serve.

I know you might be reading this, thinking it sounds like a new years post, and wondering why I'm only now, two weeks too late, writing a new years post. This is why, because I wanted to make sure that the changes we were making would stick, that our year would in fact be more purposeful, and committed to Christ, and that when I shared these things with you, I wouldn't be premature in saying them.

"But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation." James 5:12

I believe, that I failed that verse last year with my new years post and promises I made to the Lord and myself. This year, Brian and I have decided we needed to make small changes with the big impact and we have already seen much growth, and peace through these changes. The boys are on their third memory verse (which means mom and dad are also on their third memory verse), even Micah is grasping them, if not memorizing them word for word he is paraphrasing appropriately for his age.

 Will each of the routines we have started stay exactly the same throughout all of 2013? I cannot and will not say, but it is my hope that they will, or at they will at least adapt accordingly as the needs of our family change.  Our focus, is on the idea of being rooted in Christ, on verses we found in Colossians on New Years Day when we went back to read the whole book together and make a commitment together to be better this year, for each other, for our children, but most importantly for our Lord.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" Collossians 2:6-7

Image Source

That's it, our goal for 2013, to make small changes which will help us to dig deeper, being rooted and built up, strengthened in our faith and overflowing with thankfulness. It comes with a purpose to read and pray together regularly, help our kids with memorization and application of the Bible, and utilize the talents he has given to us in every capacity we can.

Which brings us to this place. My blog. My home as a writer. I'm excited to be back at blogging, to start building these amazing virtual relationships again and to really commit to exploring my writing. For the first time, I've solidified a writing schedule which I intend to stick to, emphasizing the three areas in my life that I consider (or want to be) my driving forces. My faith, my family, and writing.

Monday you can come here expecting to find a post On Faith, it might be spiritual reflections, life assessments, like I wrote about today, Bible verses that are impacting me, or a devotional.

Wednesday will be On Life, simple but enjoyable life updates, it may be a piece of parenting or marriage advice that has inspired me, or an update on my progressing belly growth and baby.

Friday I will focus On Writing, it will be about anything writing related, the act of writing or reading written works. This will be a space to explore myself as a writer/creator but also a reader/reviewer.

My amazing husband helped me create a blog header which brings me a great amount of joy and helps me to feel more professional, at peace, and like I've finally found an identity, in this space, as a writer. I'm excited to embrace these emotions and move forward with vigor.

Until Wednesday,
Teresa

A Clip From "Baking with Molly and Tia"

Margaret: "Hi, I'm Molly,"
Teresa: "And I'm Tia,"
Stereo: "And your watching Baking with Molly and Tia"
Teresa: "Today we will be making our favorite, chocolate chip cookies."
Margaret: "Have you ever wondered how to make them melt in your mouth perfect? Well, we will show you, step by step. we will tell you all of our secrets."
Stereo: "Right after a word from our sponsors."
(Cheesy smile, camera's fade out)
Cut to: Teresa standing at the kitchen table with a bottle of Miracle Whip, making a sandwich. Slowly she spreads the mayo on and assembles the sandwich. Finally she lifts it up and takes a bite. "Mmmmm now that's a sandwich."
Enter from left stage Margaret acting like the energizer bunny "She keeps going, and going, and going." Margaret exits right stage and Teresa looks after her confused.
(Camera fades in on kitchen counter)
Margaret: "Our first tip is to always use Nestle Toll House Morsels."
Teresa: "That's right Molly, Nestle's chocolate chips are much much much better."
Margaret: "Much. If you stick with us you will also learn how to increase the vanilla, melt the sugars, and..."
Teresa: "Make a double batch without running out of chocolate chips."

...

A familiar scene my best friend and I replayed over and over again as young girls. For as far back as I can remember we would do this, making chocolate chip cookies, pretending to be filming our own cooking show (Molly and Tia also co-hosted a craft series and interior decorating series), staying up late into the night, laughing, "re-shooting", making up commercials and funny outtakes, at our sleep overs. I don't know how she did it, but her mother (the mother of 5 children, 4 boys, 1 girl, and me) always had a never ending supply of Nestle chocolate morsels awaiting our cookie making desires.

Every time I make chocolate chip cookies I think about these moments, these treasured memories of a friendship that we thought would transcend time. Life has taken us in different directions, but the holidays, the cookies, always bring me back to thinking about that girl. My ten year old friend, her long natural blond hair, her voice, laugh, and smile, but also about her best friend, my ten year old self.

Today I realized my ten year old self might hate me just a little, for my frugal purchase of off brand chips, and the careful attention I paid to making smaller than small cookies so the dough would go farther, she'd also be shocked to discover it took me 4.5 months in my new house to realize having a double oven would make cookie making go faster. Oh but how those ten year olds would love my kitchen, the window, the counter space, and of course the double oven.

Over the years I've had other cookie friends, in high school I'd make cut outs with one friend in particular for every holiday, I hardly ever make cut outs now, they are too specifically associated with this friendship, that I dearly miss. I love how things like cookies, music, or certain clothes, pictures can bring back strong memories that you thought were long lost. I love reflecting on who I was, and whom I have become. I'm so grateful for the friendships I once had, those that have faded as time has taken us to different states, stages in life, and family values.

I think I'd make more cookies, now as an adult, if I had a cookie friend.

Change

Change can be subtle or dramatic,

temporary or permanent,

predictable or unexpected.

It can whisper it's way into your life 

as unnoticed as the leaves changing colors, 

or barge in like the uninvited house guest

and make itself at home on your clean sofa. 

It can feel like the fleeting excitement

and joy surrounding a fling with summer,

or the lasting pain that freezes itself 

into a mothers broken heart. 

It can be magical 

like snow on Christmas morning, 

or deceiving like blue skies that open up

and rain on your wedding day. 

We expect life to be altered when we

graduate high school, get married, have children. 

Often we overlook the impact friendships

gained or lost during these times will leave. 

A new look or style could be more 

than a new cut or shirt,

but the signs of a maturing mind, 

a healing heart, or personal acceptance. 

Death, illness and injury can leave wrinkles

so distinct that looking back you can plainly see 

the difference between who you were before and after. 

Support, laughter and prayers can leave beauty marks

so evident that others will clearly see 

for years to come. 

Change is unique to the individual,

life altering, constant,

inevitable. 

My worst enemy 

and my greatest asset.

I wouldn't be who I am today,

believe what I do,

trust so completely,

grieve so compassionately,

or live so fully 

without the changes 

that have molded and shaped me.

The pain that has taught my how to cry,

the friends who have showed me how to laugh,

the faith that helps me do these simultaneously,

are irrerplaceable. 

Change shall not define me, 

but point to the One who does. 

31 Random Birthday Thoughts

It's been awhile since I've written something worthy of posting, my mind has been all kinds of everywhere the last few weeks. So today I thought I'd share a few random Birthday thoughts for you. Not sure how this will turn out but lets have some fun, shall we?

1. Now that I have children I realize Birthdays really would be impossible without momma's. I don't have a picture on my computer of me as a newborn in my mommy's arms, but I do have this picture of us at our wedding day and one of her holding her first grandchild.

2. My mother tells me that she was watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer when they wheeled her back to deliver me. 

3. The very same version my kids were watching when this picture was taken earlier this week. 

4. That's not a Christmas tree up in my living room before Dec 4th is it??? No, it couldn't be. Ehem.

5. My mother had a rule that we couldn't celebrate Christmas until after my Birthday, she was adamant about it. For as long as I can remember.

6.My sister once called me after we'd both moved out, making sure it would be ok if she decorated early!

7. The first time I broke this rule was the day Micah was born. I knew he was due on Thanksgiving and family was coming, so I thought my house would look cleaner with the tree up.

8. Deep cleaning, furniture rearranging, and setting up Christmas (while your husband watches the Ohio State game) is a really great way to induce labor. FYI.

9. Now that Micah is a November baby his birthday has now taken the Christmas rule. I'm really not that important anymore, but he is. So anytime after November 21st is fair game, preferably the day or two days after Thanksgiving.

10. N E Way back to my birth. I was apparently trouble. I didn't want to make things easy on my parents. Can we say emergency cesarean and asking the next of kin who they want the doctors to save???

11. Thanks be to the Lord that both my mother and I survived.

12. Though I can't say the same for the anesthesiologist who answered my mothers question of if I have all my fingers and toes with "I'm not at liberty to say." What kind of idiot would say that to a new mother?

13. I do, by the way. Have all ten fingers and all ten toes, and am otherwise completely perfect. ;)

14. When I was 14 years old, I was a completely different person than the woman I am today. I was SUPER shy, very timid, worried about a lot of stuff, and extremely responsible.

15. That's the year I broke my shoulder and couldn't play volleyball and started my period. Not sure why, but those two statements go together in my mind.

16. It's also about the time I got interested in Creative Writing, though my high school English teachers would probably be shocked into a coma to discover I majored in English in college :P

17. My mom knew how to throw a birthday party. I had this one where we had a fashion show. It was super fun, Mimi won and that made me sad, I wanted to win. But apparently I had to learn a lesson about letting others win.

18. I also had several fondue parties, in fact I think I chose fondue over Birthday cake a few times. Marshmallows and chocolate, who can resist?

19. I even had a Gorilla-Gram one year where a giant Gorilla came to my birthday party and gave me balloons and a hug. I'm glad I don't have that picture on my computer because I don't think anyone bothered to brush my hair back then. Ever.

20. By the time I was twenty, I already knew my husband, I just didn't know it yet.

Owen took this picture and said "Mom I took a picture of your wedding, want to see it?" 

21. Though I probably did, in my heart. Or rather I hoped it!

22. Micah doesn't say "Happy Birthday" he says "Birthday too you!" I like his way better.

23. My husband and the boys were in charge of making me a birthday cake.

This is the kind of cake you get when you have a two year old who starts eating it before it's even out of the pan. The happiest Birthday cake I've ever had :) 

24. OOOO Heres' a good one. A couple years ago I wanted to start the Birthday Cake to Jesus tradition in our home, but I really wanted a specific cake. Not a changing cake each year. I wanted one cake that we only ever made just for Jesus. I debated and went around in circles, what would be perfect. I looked at tons of recipes and finally put it in my husbands hands. He came home with a white cake and white frosting. "I figured we could do white because Jesus was perfect."

25. I thought he was BRILLIANT. I couldn't believe how easily he'd come up with that. I'd gone from "maybe something simple" because Jesus wouldn't have been materialistic to "maybe something extravagant" because He is our King and a king is worthy of something complicated, expensive and fabulous on his birthday.

26. So for a few years now I've been marveling at my husbands intuitive ability to come up with the perfect cake. Until last night he panicked because we didn't have a cake mix and he was like "I don't know how" so he went to the store and bought a cake mix and frosting.

27. A white cake mix and white frosting. "I didn't know what you'd like, so I just got Vanilla. Is that okay?"  Smile. I like white cake best, so I'm totally okay. But did anyone else see what I'd missed a few years ago? White is his go to cake mix, his safety net, and the "Jesus is white as snow" just happened to fit perfectly. :P

28. My cake is pink. Really really really pink. I spend my entire year taking care of three boys. I wrestle, spit, shout, jump, yell, shake my booty, and fart on demand. I make angry birds treats, confetti cakes, and zombi brains with spaghetti sauce. Green, blue, yellow, and red are the colors that predominately decorate the events of our lives. Today is MY birthday. TODAY I want pink. And so, they must make it for me :) I think that's fair.

29. I gave myself a haircut. I intended to trim my fringe and ended up with a chin length hair cut. Ooops. It isn't perfect, but I'm not rushing out to get it fixed either. Make no mistake I think my hair dresser is worth every penny I give her, however, for someone extremely budget wise it's extra hard to spend that extra money on my self on any kind of a regular basis, and in a month when the income vs expenses starts out in the red I chose to improvise. So, what do ya think?

30. My secret sister at church is pretty amazing. Not sure who she is, hence the secret, but she gave me a pretty rocking present last week. A sweater and shirt so totally me it makes me think she probably knows me well, or knows someone who knows me well, or is really really good at paying attention to details. I'm telling you, this outfit looks like it should have already been in my closet. The shirt didn't fit so I had to exchange it and the store was out, so I had to get a different shirt :((( but the replacement shirt is equally as beautiful so it's all good. I can't wait to wear it at church tomorrow. I'm assuming this was a birthday present and so if your reading this, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

31. Well I did it folks. Somehow I made it to 31 thoughts {about} my 31st Birthday. There was a time where I couldn't see past being a teenager, and I truly believed the Lord would call me home at the age of 23. A time when I thought 30 was old and that by then everything would be figured out, life would be {quote unquote} perfect. But here I am, celebrating 31. Not sure I see myself as having everything figured out or my life as perfect, but with Christ at the center and standing next to the love of my life, watching two handsome, wild, rambunctious, loud, zombie eating, angry bird playing, blue and green loving boys, I'd say it's pretty close.

I hope I didn't bore you too badly, and perhaps you learned something new about me. Though it's all probably worthless information! lol.

Happy December 3rd.

Oh, if your still with me then you deserve this one last fun little tid bit. In college there was this guy that I met at freshman orientation who I thought was cute, we shared a birthday. That's how I met him, the birthday line thing, no talking and line up as close as possible. Anyway, from then on out, every time we passed each other in the halls I'd say "Hi December Third" and he would reciprocate then I'd get a hug. That was part of me breaking out of my "too shy to talk to boys" stage. He was cute, but he's no Brian.

Food, Faith, and Spaghetti

I'm not sure if today's post is more about faith or food, if they should be separate topics or if they in fact go hand in hand. The original idea for this post was the idea that faith is like spaghetti. I love post ideas that spawn from family dinners! Speaking of dinners, our cupboards are bare, and perhaps that's why food is fighting for the spotlight of this post. You see, last night for dinner I ate a large slice of apple pie, and then feeling unsatisfied (go figure, it was 9:30 at night and I hadn't had anything to eat since my broccoli cauliflower soup at 11:30 AM) I ate a baby jar of mushroom pieces and stems, still hungry I crawled into bed, passing my bible, and went to sleep.

Did I mention that our cupboards are bare? Like, completely bare? It was mushrooms or ramen noodles. Anyone who lived on ramen noodles through college or any other significant period of time will agree with me, mushrooms were the better choice.

Today, I'm starving. I've had nothing but Mary Jane's (you know Mary Jane's right? Those peanut butter toffee things that come out around Halloween each year?), which I happened to have at the office left over from last week.

But, I am salivating for Jimmy Johns. Anything of substance really, but the rich seven grain bread, thick with meaty, veggie stuffed, avocado spread-ed, #11 goodness sounds particularly appealing to me right now.

I bet that right about now you've started to ask yourself "is this post really going to be all about food?" Am I right? I bet I am. The answer is yes, or no, not really, or yes, figuratively. I bet it could be, but I do have something deeper looming just below the surface. Like the meat at the bottom of a boiling spaghetti sauce, or the protein disguised as cheesy, spicy, rich goodness in bean dip.

Ok, aside aside, why am I craving a big hearty meaty sandwich? I'm craving it because sugar will not sustain me alone. God designed our bodies to need nutrients, protein, amino acids....oops my PKU knowledge is creeping in. But in all seriousness here, our bodies need food. Sometimes, even if our cupboards aren't bare, I'll come home from work not feeling very hungry. I'll take a small helping or skip dinner all together and my husband will get very concerned "Honey, you have to eat something, you cannot live on {Starburst} alone."

Alright for those of you who are still with me today, I'm a starving fool, all of my funnies might have scared a few of you off, I'm about ready to dish up the protein. One or two big heaping spoonfuls then I'm wrapping this post up so I can go get lunch. Mmmm. Lunch. Mmmmm Jimmy Johns.

Protein and other nutrients that a real health nut would know about, aren't the only thing our bodies, as Christians, need to sustain us. I'm thinking now about the Bread of Life, the Word of God. Unfortunately, I'm currently lacking in both forms of food, physical and spiritual. I'm starving in it's traditional sense of the word because my cupboards are bare, but there aren't any excuses for my spiritual starvation. I guess my spiritual cupboard would be my Bible and/or my bible study, and they aren't lost, and I doubt I'll ever open them up to find them mysteriously empty or full of blank pages.

There is nothing to blame for my spiritual starvation except for myself. My own sheer lazy and sinful nature is to blame. I get pulled into reading a good book or watching a good show and before I know it my time has flown by, and any hope of a deep and impactful devotions session have vanished into a mind that is full of mush and incomprehension.


I'm probably about 4 or 5 days out of the Word now, after a stretch several weeks long where I was reading both before bed and first thing in the morning. Reading, seeking, and really digging into the Word of God. Devouring it with true interest and passion. Savoring and enjoying each new thing I learned about my Lord and Savior.

I'm starving for scripture. I've tried to mask my starvation with little pieces of candy or sugar coated nugets. Listening to praise songs several times over, reading blogs that other people have written based loosely on a verse or two, praying two or three times more than I normally would. It doesn't take a genius to know that apple pie and mushrooms aren't a good dinner, just like my body can't sustain itself with sugar and fungus, the Christian part of me can't survive on fluff either.

There really isn't any reason for my slacking other than I just haven't been called out on it. So here, I am, calling myself out! I have plans tonight, big plans to pull out my bible, my study book, and get caught up. Memorize my weekly memory verse Romans 12:2 one of my favorites anyway, and enjoy filling myself back up with the Word of God, increasing my faith through knowledge.

Hey, there is that word again! Didn't I mention something about faith at the beginning of this funny post? Yes, I indeed I did. Faith is like spaghetti. I bet you've been wondering about that line. Ok, so the back story: My mother makes the best spaghetti sauce. Now, I make the best spaghetti sauce, no seriously, it rocks. This last time I made it I even put two jars of mushrooms in it (the writer snickers). Spaghetti was one of my favorite meals, I would ask for it for birthdays special. Every time we ate spaghetti my mom would get about half way done and then say something like "My spaghetti grew on my plate." It didn't take long before our family understood one thing about spaghetti. It wasn't like other foods, where you got scolded because your eyes were bigger than your stomach and you took more than you could eat, spaghetti grew. No matter how little you started out with, it would grow on your plate and you wouldn't be capable of (easily) finishing it.

I think that reading your bible can be a little like eating spaghetti. You don't always need a big heaping plateful because it will grow and fill you up more quickly than you expect. Once you start reading about the things that the Lord has done you will get excited about it, and that passion will grow exponentially without effort.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." Matt 13:31-32

So the first reason faith is like spaghetti is because it grows exponentially, but the second reason is inspired by my rugrats. Have you ever seen a child eat spaghetti?

When a child has had spaghetti, everybody knows. There is no hiding it.

One of my mentors used to say "When I've been out of the word one day, I know it. Two day's my husband knows it. Three days, evvvvvveryonnnnnne knows it." Isn't there some truth to that? If it's been a few days, that faith that shines from us, that love which gives us more patience, more empathy towards others, power to our prayers,  it starts to get hidden and fade.

What have you been eating lately? Have you been having dinners of apple pie and mushrooms, masking it with candy and sugar, or is your face proudly displaying a good ole helping of spaghetti?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some lunch!

Making It A Vacation

I'm sure you've heard the various phrases about the difference between a house and a home. This one in particular being the gist of them all "A good home must be made, not bought." Joyce Maynard. These in particular have been at the forefront of my thoughts lately because we are trying to buy our first house.

However, tonight's post is not about the house, or our home of the last five-ish years. This is about vacation. I feel like coining a few new phrases "the difference between a vacay and a vacation..." or "A good vacation must be made, not bought." "Vacation is where the heart is," "Ones favorite place on earth will always be where she vacationed as a little girl" and finally "The heart of a vacation is in the memories that were made there."

Time

This afternoon, Micah finally took a significant nap. However, 87% of said nap was in my arms. Every time I went to put him down, he would wake up and panic. So, I spent 75% of my afternoon sitting in the rocking chair rocking my baby. At first, I kept thinking about the things I could be doing, making granola, bagging cookies, running to Walmart to pick up our pictures, taking advantage of the warm weather and cleaning the van. Then I decided their could be worse things than those things not getting completed because I was holding my child. I thought of my friend Felicia who lost her little girl (approximately the same age as Micah) a few months ago, and realized she probably would give anything to have a few extra minutes sitting in a rocking chair letting everything else go, for one more smell, kiss, or tender nap in her arms.

Praying for Felicia and her family.

Expecting the Unexpected

Thirty minutes into what turned out to be a 75 minute wait for the doctor this morning I was wishing that my desire to be a "doctor mom" automatically made me one. I have friends, one mom in particular, who have mastered the ability to treat almost any illness that their children face in the comfort of their home. These women have the confidence to conquer anything from sniffles to vomiting to fevers and even childbirth without worrying about the doctors advice, prescriptions or vaccines. While I hope to one day, I do not yet hold that expertise, as proven by the fact that today's appointment was the third in as many weeks (for the same child).

Perceived Perfection

(Editors Note: This is a non-fiction/fictional piece I wrote 2 years, 7 months, and 2 days ago. When you read it, you will know how I know. As I just turned 30, hitting the age I determined in this piece to be "perfection", I thought this was fun to reread.)

 This is not how I imagined my life would be at 30.  Ok, so I’m not 30 yet, but let’s face it, how much can really change in 2 ½ years?