The Adaptability of Eye Shadow and Devotions

The last three weeks have been a fresh start, here on my blog, at home with the kids, with my husband, and with my Lord. Not that any of those relationships started over, just that they each started again, started fresh with new and exciting energy and enthusiasm. As I mentioned last week, we committed to a few small changes to help us better stick with them and follow them through, and as a result, our home has transformed. It's only been three weeks, but it has been a fabulous three weeks and I think we can all attest that when we see success it is easier to push forward.

I feel revived, if you haven't noticed, our house isn't actually clean but it's like the air around us is, and I keep taking it in, deep breaths of God's goodness and guidance. I can feel the Lord working in me and the Spirit urging and guiding me as I dig through and chew on God's word like I've never felt Him before. Yes, we have made great strides this month, but that doesn't mean we have arrived, or that we've even begun to scratch the surface.

There is still so much soul digging, growing, and strengthening that needs to be done. It's a life journey. Now that we are on the right track,our hearts are opened to and ready for the depth and digging needed to bring convictions that lead to the changes and works the the Lord wants to do in our lives. This process is challenging and it's going to require dedication, openness, honesty, and repentance. The transformation I'm talking about needs to take place deep within, you've heard the phrase "not a diet but a life style change", well that's what I'm talking about, not something short lived that has little impact but long term, life changing impact.

Last week, I stumbled upon a Christian community called She Reads Truth. This site hosts a daily devotional and Bible reading plan. When I found it, they were at the end (though I didn't realize it) of a plan called "Fresh Start." Huh, interesting concept right?

Well, that 19 day plan ended over the weekend and now they/we are digging into a new reading plan called Soul Detox.  Here is one small section of a captivating description which I felt really spoke to everything I've been feeling and sharing here.

If you’re tired of the stain of sinful habits discoloring your life, if you long to breathe the fresh, clean, life-giving air of God’s holiness, if you would love to detoxify your soul from guilt, fear, regret, and all the impurities that pollute your relationship with God, then this reading plan is for you.

Truth be told, I know there are a ton of good daily devotionals designed for Christian women that build community and accountability, but I'm new to the game. Why? Because it hasn't felt like a good fit. It hasn't been a comfortable or easy transition. This morning, I was applying my eye shadow, which until recently I'd been using exactly the same colors and doing in exactly the same way for probably about three years. But my sister bought me some good stuff for Christmas, in colors that I've never owned before. This has caused me to do some experimenting, playing with different options to get a look I'm comfortable with, while also trying some fun dramatic looks I'm less comfortable with but that made my husband say "oooh la la."

While experimenting, I discovered a technique that I've heard of but not tried, and frankly thought I wouldn't like. The technique is using the dark eye shadow color on my lash line instead of using eye liner. In my 18 years of doing make up, I've never done this. I've always opted for the eye liner because it was comfortable, though it's not always been a happy or perfect relationship. Finding the perfect eye liner is a chore and a pain. What I discovered, is that being afraid to try something different with my eye shadow, just because it wasn't comfortable or would take time to adjust to, has caused me to miss out on a subtle but substantial change in the way my eye make up looks and lasts throughout the day.

There are as many ways to wear your eye shadow as there are people who wear it, and as many techniques for applying it as there are companies who make it. There is a little something for everyone, and what works for you this week, month or year, might not, be the only way or your favorite way once you have discovered something new. I think the same can be said for our devotion/Bible reading time. There are so many plans, ideas, and recommendations out there, not one of them is wrong, but that doesn't mean they are all right for you, or right for you right now. As time goes on, you might find something you thought worked perfectly isn't working as well, and decide to tweak it. That's okay, like eye shadow, you might find something better for you in this moment that you never would have expected to work.

My point is that, eye shadow application, Bible/devotion reading, even life, are all adaptable, and by being afraid to try something new, or change can cause us to miss out on those "oooh la la" moments with our husbands, deep spiritual insight with other women, or even moments of joy with our kids.  I'm excited to be branching out and trying something new again today with the She Reads Truth study and community and know that the Lord will use this time to stir great and amazing insights and truths within me.I have already been challenged by today's reading alone. I'm looking forward to meeting new women through their community and perhaps growing blog relationships that way as well, but most importantly, they say this reading plan is life changing, and that my friends is what I'm most excited about.

So, let me ask you... Are you in between devotions, or wishing you had a specific guided plan to help you examine an area of your life? Do you want women to help hold you accountable to finding a handful of minutes a day and setting them aside for Jesus? I would love it if you'd come join in the fun. It's really really awesome. I'm serious. Go there. now. MWA!

Until Wednesday my friends,
Teresa

Small Changes, Big Impact, Becoming Rooted

Good morning friends,
The last Sunday of 2012 our Pastor gave an amazing sermon on the importance of taking inventory. He talked about how the end of the year sales provided stores with an opportunity to take inventory of their stock and reassess their business goals and merchandise for the coming year, and said that as Christians we should assess our year, ask our selves if we met certain criteria and regroup, refocus for the coming year. He used Colossians chapter 3 as a tool for taking said inventory and then pounded us with some difficult questions.

Was your heart set on things above or earthly treasures?
Are you reading your Bible and praying daily?
Did you see spiritual growth this year?
Did you lead anybody to Christ?
Did you even share your faith or witness to anyone?
Can your children see your faith alive in your life?
Did they see you reading, praying, leaning on the Lord this last year?
Are you clothed with kindness, compassion, gentleness and patience?
Does the peace of Christ rule in your heart?
And finally, can you honestly say that whatever you do, whether in word or deed, you do it all in the name of the Lord with a heart and attitude of praise?

Some of these questions hit my husband and I at the core. We started out 2012 with a lot of goals/resolutions, big grand ideas of things we would do to draw our family closer to the Lord etc etc etc, but as each day came to a close, like waves of the tide beating a sandy shore, our resolve faded and time slipped away from us like sand into the ocean. Overall, the year was a wash.

In 2011 Owen knew memory verse after memory verse, in 2012  not only did we fail in teaching him any more, we failed in helping him recall the ones he already knew (let alone starting to work with Micah). I had intended to blog regularly, but had excuse after excuse not to. I'd vowed not to watch tv on weeknights in order to bring glory to God and focus more on my writing and within 10 days I failed. Were we effective in sharing our faith or bringing others to the Lord? There are people we've been praying for, but is that all we are called to do? Can we honestly say there weren't any missed opportunities? I think not.

There were moments and seasons in 2012 where we both saw growth, or were walking effectively, but overall 2012 was not our best year. And yet, despite our lazy sluggard ways, despite our failures or indifference, the Lord chose to keep us in a season of blessings. Showering gift after gift down on us. What a loving God we serve.

I know you might be reading this, thinking it sounds like a new years post, and wondering why I'm only now, two weeks too late, writing a new years post. This is why, because I wanted to make sure that the changes we were making would stick, that our year would in fact be more purposeful, and committed to Christ, and that when I shared these things with you, I wouldn't be premature in saying them.

"But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or any other oath, but let your "yes" be yes and your "no" be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation." James 5:12

I believe, that I failed that verse last year with my new years post and promises I made to the Lord and myself. This year, Brian and I have decided we needed to make small changes with the big impact and we have already seen much growth, and peace through these changes. The boys are on their third memory verse (which means mom and dad are also on their third memory verse), even Micah is grasping them, if not memorizing them word for word he is paraphrasing appropriately for his age.

 Will each of the routines we have started stay exactly the same throughout all of 2013? I cannot and will not say, but it is my hope that they will, or at they will at least adapt accordingly as the needs of our family change.  Our focus, is on the idea of being rooted in Christ, on verses we found in Colossians on New Years Day when we went back to read the whole book together and make a commitment together to be better this year, for each other, for our children, but most importantly for our Lord.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness" Collossians 2:6-7

Image Source

That's it, our goal for 2013, to make small changes which will help us to dig deeper, being rooted and built up, strengthened in our faith and overflowing with thankfulness. It comes with a purpose to read and pray together regularly, help our kids with memorization and application of the Bible, and utilize the talents he has given to us in every capacity we can.

Which brings us to this place. My blog. My home as a writer. I'm excited to be back at blogging, to start building these amazing virtual relationships again and to really commit to exploring my writing. For the first time, I've solidified a writing schedule which I intend to stick to, emphasizing the three areas in my life that I consider (or want to be) my driving forces. My faith, my family, and writing.

Monday you can come here expecting to find a post On Faith, it might be spiritual reflections, life assessments, like I wrote about today, Bible verses that are impacting me, or a devotional.

Wednesday will be On Life, simple but enjoyable life updates, it may be a piece of parenting or marriage advice that has inspired me, or an update on my progressing belly growth and baby.

Friday I will focus On Writing, it will be about anything writing related, the act of writing or reading written works. This will be a space to explore myself as a writer/creator but also a reader/reviewer.

My amazing husband helped me create a blog header which brings me a great amount of joy and helps me to feel more professional, at peace, and like I've finally found an identity, in this space, as a writer. I'm excited to embrace these emotions and move forward with vigor.

Until Wednesday,
Teresa

Where I Belong

I am pro life.

I always have been. Quietly, believing that no matter the circumstances God has an amazing plan for every child.

I believed it, I lived it, but I didn't affectionately feel it, until I suffered a miscarriage.

The presidential election was close at hand when I was grieving the loss of my child.  I can vividly remember sitting at work one day listening to a Focus on the Family broadcast about Obama and his stance on abortion, a woman was giving a very graphic testimony about living through an abortion, and I was a blubbering mess.

My love for all things baby had grown exponentially through my loss. I've shared before that as a result of my loss I now have a heart for pregnant women, for grieving women, that I pray fervently for babies growing and mommies grieving for months and months after the birth or loss, and love to see prayers answered for beautiful, healthy, full term babies.

With a heart like that, it's embarrassing to admit how easily I've overlooked the fight against abortion.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

People who know me, know what I believe.

That's enough.

Isn't it?

Last night, I crawled out from under the rock I've apparently been living under, long enough to discover that aborted fetus' are used in all kinds of disturbing ways. PepsiCo uses them to help research flavor enhancement. Say what? The article does say the fetal cells do not end up in the end product, but that doesn't make sense to me and I still find it extremely disgusting.

My heart began to break for those children, for first steps that were never taken, kisses never given, "I love you's" never uttered.

Soon I was crying for my baby in heaven, for how delusional this world is. For what we have taken for granted, for the blessing we have denied, killed and turned a blind eye to.

Immediately, I decided not to purchase Pepsi Products anymore, so long to my good friend "All Natural" Sierra Mist. Then, it was brought to my attention that aborted fetuses are also used in and to cultivate cells for vaccinations.

Seriously?

I started clicking on a million links. Did you know Pepsi also makes Gatorade and Aquafina? Or that other companies are involved and the list of products that contain aborted fetuses and by association therefore support abortion is a full page long?

Am I in affect, supporting abortion if I grab a pack of Trident when I check out?

It didn't take long before my burden began to turn into anxiety.

It's too big.

Too controversial.

I'm just one me.

I didn't even know how to pray as I was falling asleep. What to say, do or feel. I rested in the knowledge that the Spirit knows my heart and can turn my gut wrenching silence into the most beautiful of prayers.

Even though all was dark and quiet these words began to soothe me to sleep.

All I know is I'm not home yet,

This is not where I belong.

Take this world and give me Jesus,

This is not where I belong. 

When the earth shakes,

I wanna be found in you. 

When the lights fade,

I wanna be found in you. 

Building 429 Where I belong 

This morning I was reading/praying my Psalm of the day, number 5 as I somehow thought today was March 5th. Where they didn't bring me answers to the zillions of questions I now have swirling around in my head, they did bring me comfort.

Give ear to my words, O Lord,
Consider my meditation.
2 Give heed to the voice of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You I will pray.
3 My voice You shall hear in the morning, O Lord;
In the morning I will direct it to You,
And I will look up.

4 For You are not a God who takes pleasure in wickedness,
Nor shall evil dwell with You.
5 The boastful shall not stand in Your sight;
You hate all workers of iniquity.
6 You shall destroy those who speak falsehood;
The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

7 But as for me, I will come into Your house in the multitude of Your mercy;
In fear of You I will worship toward Your holy temple.
8 Lead me, O Lord, in Your righteousness because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before my face.

9 For there is no faithfulness in their mouth;
Their inward part is destruction;
Their throat is an open tomb;
They flatter with their tongue.
10 Pronounce them guilty, O God!
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Cast them out in the multitude of their transgressions,
For they have rebelled against You.

11 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You;
Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name
Be joyful in You.
12 For You, O Lord, will bless the righteous;
With favor You will surround him as with a shield.

Even though the morning brought comfort the weight was still heavy, the fight is still too big, too controversial, and I'm still just one me.

Perusing links again, I stumbled on Every Life Is Beautiful, a site created by the makers of October Baby a movie about an abortion survivor (I shared the preview here a few weeks back, so excited to see this amazing story in theaters). The site is basically a series of videos from people involved in the movie, sharing their testimonies about why Every Life Is Beautiful. The first video hit me right where I needed to be hit. It came up automatically when I opened the page and is of Jon Erwin, the Co-Director of October Baby.

I think the movies that inspire me are the ones that, that have some story or redemption in them. People fighting and dying for things that are bigger than themselves.

Yeah, me too, Jon Erwin. Me too.

This is me, living my story.

I'm not sure what the answers are to my questions, and I honestly might not even know all of the questions yet. But I know the difference between right and wrong, I know that if I keep seeking and asking the Lord will make His way straight before my face.

I can start by:
Joining the voices of others.
Opening my eyes, staying up to date with the news, and researching that which I don't understand.
Saying good bye as I finish the bottle of Sierra Mist in my fridge.
Making an honest effort not to purchase Pepsi Products.
And by supporting and promoting the movie October Baby.

And most importantly I need to remember that my joy is found in Him and not to let this world get to me, because ultimately I am not home yet, this is not where I belong.




Do you stand against abortion? How do you avoid inadvertently supporting abortion or other strong convictions? Do you have any tips or tricks on how to live in this world without conforming to it? I'd love to hear your stories!

The Peace Lilly

Father God, 

Today I want to thank you for the three years, one month and two days that I have survived since miscarrying Tobi. Thank you for the love that was poured on us, and the prayers that covered and lifted us closer to you during that time. Thank you for the cards, the flowers, the stolen glances of half smiles (you know, the ones where a persons lips raise but their eyes only reflect a shared pain), for the bible verses that remind me and breathed life back into a hurting heart. 

Mostly Lord I thank you for the Peace Lilly. For the friend who sent it to me.

She had no idea what it would mean to me, couldn't have had any clue that for days, weeks, months, and even the next 2 years that one plant would live on my coffee table and serve to remind me I wasn't alone. Remind me of the prayers others had prayed. Remind me of the strength and peace that only You can provide. 

Lord I thank you that for years that plant brought me comfort and rest. I praise you for small symbols that can keep us rooted in your love and your faithfulness. This plant was not my baby, it was not my Lord, but it was so precious because of everything it represented to me.

I thank you Lord that now I keep a Peace Lilly, not to remind me of Tobi, but to remind me to pray for others. I thank you that I'm able to see more than the pain and peace I needed to survive, but I think of others before myself, the women I've sent Peace Lilly's to. I praise you that, while I wish none of these other women had suffered loss, a mother gone too soon, a husband lost to a terrible disease, and more miscarriages that will never be forgotten, it reminds me to pray. To continue praying for these women, these situations, their strength, Your peace. I praise you that while I'll always think of Tobi and miss what could have been, I've learned more about pain.

I praise you Father that it's getting easier to find the blessings that stemmed from this loss. That the statements of praise I was able to mutter that day, week, month have become stronger, true-er, and easier to say, to feel. 

Thank you for the promise that Tobi was to us, the symbol that we could have more children. Thank you ever more that his or her life is made complete in your love and company.

Oh the joy it will be to meet in heaven, women talk about that surprise feeling of waiting until birth to find out what they are having, I don't think I could do it, but here I am, waiting until death with eager joy. 

I love you for being Faithful and Peaceful, and even for using our deepest pain to teach us and mold us into the people you want us to be. With the faith and testimonies you want us to have. 

Thank you Father.

Gratitude for Communication With My Father

Abba Father,

Today I just want to pause and thank you for the privilege of prayer. 

For giving us the ability to reach out and communicate with you directly. 

To ask for your spirit to intercede on behalf of 

friends, family, and strangers going through difficult times, 

needing extra grace, strength, or wisdom. 

God, I praise you for listening to our concerns, needs, and desires.

For hearing our cries, for ourselves and those nearest to us. 

I don't pause to appreciate how precious it is that you allow us, unworthy as we are, to reach out to you this way as often as I should. 

Thank you, that prayer and communication with you 

can be as natural and easy as breathing, 

that there isn't a bunch of hoopla or ceremonial rituals we need to do first, we can simply breath and speak or think the things on our hearts and burdening our minds. 

Father I praise you for the opportunity to pray for 

two struggling marriages, 

the complications of morning sickness, 

a special request for wisdom, 

new pregnancies, 

future pregnancies for 2 friends,

and a mothers broken heart. 

Father, I thank you in advance for the miracles you are already weaving, 

for the answers you will give to these prayers, 

whether they are the answers we expect or not. 

Lord I praise you for the opportunity to be a part of the good 

you will work in these situations, 

and bringing peace of mind to my friends,

by allowing them to rest when they do not know what to pray, 

knowing that a friend is interceding on their behalf. 

Note to readers: Sorry there isn't a picture for this one. 1. it's just so personal and raw, and 2. hopefully I find my camera cord again soon ;) 

Gifts with Conditions

Father,
I want to thank you for caring about each of our needs, meeting them, and then caring about and meeting our greatest desires as well. These  Specifically today, I thank you for my date with my husband last night.

For the church class on staying in love that our pastor is teaching, and for our pastors heart for couples, for couples to spend quality time together, investing in their relationships, and for the gift the church gave each couple committed in this class. A gift card to help with the expenses of a date, to encourage us to get out of our town and our routines, to try someplace new and connect with each other.

I thank you for the condition that came with the gift card that it had to be used this week, what a great way to get us off of our rears, to force us to spend, sacrifice, both time and money to get away together for an evening. To laugh and relax in each others company. I especially thank you, that this gift came this week, when we were feeling overwhelmed with life.

Sometimes, it's in these moments, where I'm remembering the above and beyonds, that remind me the most of your goodness and ability and desire to take care of the important stuff as well. That remind me to put all of my cares and concerns in your hands, to trust you and rest in your gentleness.

Brownie and Baby

Father God, 

Thank you for these two seemingly small items, that my kiddo's cherish. 

For the safety and security my boys feel when holding, hugging, or sleeping with them. 

I praise you first for Brownie and my Mother-in-law Beth for giving him to Owen at his second Christmas. Since then Brownie has been through everything, and everywhere (overnight) with Owen. If Brownie is injured or lost we pray for him, and it's amazing to see Owen's faith growing every so slowly through Your faithfulness and answered prayers. The light in his eyes when Brownie is found right after a prayer is raw and true childlike faith. 

Thank you in turn for Baby. A blanket given to us when Micah John was born by my other Mother-in-law Karen. From the time he was really young we loved this blanket and would send it with him to daycare daily or tuck him in with it nightly. But one day that love transferred from us to him. The love for this blanket became Micah's alone. He began calling it Baby, and asks for it every night. He hugs it and holds it, not like a blanket but like a stuffed animal. 

Thank you Lord, for these small comforts that they have been given, and the many ways we can use them to teach about your love, comfort, strength and answered prayers. 

Thankful On Paper

I wanted to link up with the beautiful No. 17 last week for her Thankful on Paper series, however I stumbled and fumbled with figuring out who to write to.


It isn't that I don't have people I am grateful for, I do, I do, I do, I do. However, I think I do a decent job of letting them know how special they are to me.  Also, this year my heart has been so fully and completely blessed, it just didn't feel right, continuing to go on praising the Lord for the many blessings, and not thanking the people whom the Lord used to give us these blessings. 
As I've only met this couple one time, I think it's safe to say they wont stumble upon my blog here before receiving their letter so I'm going to share the letter here with you today. I wrote the letter out on notebook paper and created a card on my computer that I'll sort of recreate for you below. My plan is to get their address tonight and take the boys over there, have them ring the door bell, say thank you and come back to me. Hopefully, this gesture will bless them today, even a fraction of how much we have been blessed. 
Thank YouFor our new home

For the memories that we've made ...
(inside of card) 
And those yet to come. 
Blessings from,The Thomas FamilyBrian, Teresa, Owen and Micah
(back of card) 
Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God every time I remember you.In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy.Philippians 1:2-4

Dear Mr & Mrs D, I know this letter is out of the ordinary and definitely out of the blue, but I had to write it nonetheless. Each year around thanksgiving I make an effort to be nostalgic to slow down, think and reflect on my blessings. This year in particular I'm pausing daily to record and share a praise to the Lord with my friend and family online. 
Already, several of the things on my list specifically relate to our home. The front porch and our first ever time passing out candy on Halloween. The millions of leaves and sounds of laughter as the boys played with their dad. The luxury of having a dishwasher. The sunset seen from the beautiful picture window. The bright red fall flowers out front I didn't expect and couldn't love more. 
Since purchasing this home from you we have paused several times, daily, (at first it was several times a day) to praise our Lord for this new home. The beautiful kitchen, the arches, larger room for the boys, the basement, the bones and the solid foundation, the space for a guest bedroom/office, the room to grow, the entryway to keep our coats and shoes without cluttering our home, the garage, fenced in yard, the driveway for bike riding. The size.The style, oh how we hoped for a ranch!The appliances.The extras. Light bulbs, toilet paper, trash bags, clocks, shovels, mops, trash can, air fresheners. You name it, and we were blessed by it, and have probably thanked the Lord for it. There was a challenge online I wanted to follow that said basically to think of the person who has had the greatest impact on your life (right now) someone who has blessed you with or taught you something invaluable and then write them a thank you, on paper. 
We have so many amazing people in our lives, a church family, family, friends and mentors who have blessed us abundantly over the years, through the trials and joys. Parents who define "giving" and "putting love into action,"  so many people whom I would normally expect to be at the top of my thank you list. 
However, looking back at 2011 our greatest blessing was walking through the door of our home, together as husband and wife, parents, homeowners, for the first time. Our journey towards home-ownership finally complete. Our prayers for a safer, homier/roomier place for the boys to grow up, for a place we could decorate and make our own, finally answered. 
I want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart for letting the Lord use you to bless us so abundantly, so completely that even still my husband will walk into a room, hold my hands and say "could you love this house anymore?" 
Actually, I fall in love with it a little as each day goes by. 
I do not know your story, how the Lord used you, how He worked through different Realtors or friends, but I do know I am so incredibly grateful that our paths crossed, that your home was on the market long enough for us to find it. 
Thank you for all of your generosity the day we closed, for being willing to sell us this beautiful home, for all of the extras, and for taking such good care of it over the years. 
May the Lord bless you abundantly,Teresa Thomas
Alright readers, that's it for today. Thanks for stopping by my blog, as always I hope that you were blessed by this space. Head over here to check out other Thankful on Paper posts today. 
Don't forget to slow down and enjoy this Season of Thanksgiving and count your blessings. 

Choosing to Listen

This morning the ladies in our church gathered together for a wonderful ladies breakfast, and I had the honor of leading the devotional or testimony. As my first or second speaking engagement since graduating college, I basically just read something I wrote for them. The first time is a learning experience, right?

Anyway, here are the words I felt the Lord lay on my heart last night, I hope that you will enjoy them.

God bless. 

___________________________________________________________

Bundled up in a bathrobe, clutching a cup of warm apple cider I sit, finally attempting to figure out what to say. For weeks I have been praying about this message, trying let the subject grow and wrap it’s way around my heart. Pleading with the Lord to give me something tender and yet convicting, personal and yet relate-able.

The more I prayed, the less I felt compelled to write about. The more I begged God to show me the message, or to give me the time and passion needed, the busier and more chaotic my life became, the more cluttered and clouded my mind was.



Even now I’m struggling to put words onto paper. To pour my heart out and hope it turns into something magnificent.



It occurs to me that two things may be simultaneously happening.



The first thing is that the devil knows what I’m up to and has been doing everything in his power to shut me down. To cloud my life and my mind with closed day cares, backed up sewers and Micah’s persistent anti-sleep 2-3 hour battles before nap and bed time. He knows what I’m up to, he knows each and every one of you who are here and what the Lord wants you to hear, and he does not want you to hear it.



The second thing that could be going on, is that the Lord is desiring to challenge me, to use what the devil is doing, to increase my obedience, to stretch my creativity, to create a God honoring message, something beautiful that will transcend the here and now, something that each of you will take on with you throughout your weeks and remember upon when the Lord desires you to. A challenge to create something beautiful, for His glory, out of nothing. Literally.



Isn’t that just like those two,the perfect characterization of each?



The devil constantly digging his feet in, pulling you in three different directions, slamming doors in your face just as you are about to walk through them, blowing up garbage disposals or a babies diaper when the Lord needs you the most.



Our father, patiently waiting for us to respond in obedience, defeating all of the devils nasty tricks by stretching the creativity, and working all things out for good, and  creating something even more beautiful and precious than what would or could have been without the challenge.
I can think of so many different examples of this in my life.



Vague examples that many of you have probably experienced as well, such as a friendship rooted more deeply through a shared trial, a lesson learned about my son through a trip to the ER, a conviction on my friendship skills through the hurt and pain of changing relationships.



Beauty (so to speak) from ashes.



Then there are the personal ones specifically related to my life and my experiences, those that I can’t hide from, that have everyday reminders.



The pain and heartache that surrounded my youth as my mother battled Multiple Sclerosis, has been re-birthed into reluctant acceptance because the time was used ultimately to teach me important life lessons, reveal things about myself and my personality that may have taken several decades to figure out otherwise, and show me how important it is to trust the Lord through trials.



The surprise and joy over finding out I was pregnant just as the devil had used a doctor (and cancer) to try and strike fear and panic in us over our future family possibilities.



Most recently the blessing of a new home, perfectly suited to meet our every need (now and in the future), after heartache and pain over losing out on several other homes, waiting as contentedly as possible for nearly 7 years while the Lord brought us to and through our medical trials preparing us financially. The blessing is that much sweeter.



I realize that I’ve clearly mentioned two different types of trials. Those from the devil, specifically geared towards choking you up, and those that the Lord is clearly trying to teach you something through. It is my belief that nothing that happens will surprise the Lord, He knows far more than we could imagine, and that it is His desire to USE each and every circumstance God breathed or not to teach us, to transform us, and increase our faith, our blessings. However, I also believe that the devil will use each and every circumstance God breathed or not to cause us to stumble, to choke us up, busy our lives, strike fear and panic in us, cloud our minds and hearts so much that we cannot hear or see the Lords hand.



Sipping on my second cup of hot apple cider, I feel it’s warmth spreading throughout my being. I blow gently into the cup and the heat returns tenderly kissing my lips and cheeks, I feel the peace of the Lord coming over me at last, a sweet and warm reward for choosing to be still and listen.



What situations do you have in your life right now, big or small that the devil is trying to use to shake your faith, but the Lord is trying to use to bless you?

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I'm linking this post up to one of my favorite bloggers Sarah at Racing Towards Joy for her Picture-less Tuesday link-up.


If your visiting from Racing Towards Joy, welcome to my blog. I hope the Lord blessed you during your visit and that you'll feel welcome to stay awhile and look around.


Make sure to leave a comment and your blog link so I can thank you for coming by!


God Bless!

Conviction Stick-tion

I hope you've enjoyed the first two days of my Thanksgiving or Gratitude posts. I'm really savoring this time where I stop and focus not on what needs to be done, but on what my Lord has already done.

I know that two posts in one day is unusual for me, but this mornings post was brief.

I wanted to take a moment and share with you a nugget that I have been chewing on the last 4 or 5 days or so about conviction. Looking back at various different things the Lord has convicted me on through the years, I'm realizing that several of them are repeats and several others have faded away.

Have you noticed this in your life as well? The Lord will point something out in me, and I will embrace His correction and discipline, I'll heed the warnings and change my ways. Often with fires ablaze. Striving to do better, eager, daily, to follow through with this, or that, better behavior. That eagerness might last 5 days or even 15, but almost always the thing I was convicted on gets easier to avoid, and so I don't have to think as hard about avoiding it, until I don't think on it. I don't think on it at all. Slowly, as those days of blissful freedom from that sin go on, the sin creeps back in without an invitation, and without an announcement of it's arrival until all of a sudden I'm so heavily immersed in it again, the Lord is shaking His head. Wondering what it will take to get through to me.

Yesterday there was a status floating around that said "What is different, still different, about your parenting after seeing Courageous (the most recent movie by Sherwood Films) last month?"

Nothing. Not due to Courageous. I have a friend who is incredibly patient and remarkably understanding of the ages and stages of her children, I've made many changes in my parenting style in response to being close with this friend, and have been using the 1, 2, 3 Magic technique. Both have made me a better mother, given me a stronger voice of authority and fewer emotional break downs over my children. I am doing better, but I'm not thinking on and reflecting over that conviction in which I felt at the theater, I'm not praying about being better. Based on the pattern of previous convictions I know I'm in trouble. To put it simply, if I'm not thinking on it or praying over it, then I'm in danger. My convictions are in danger of disappearing all together and my parenting skills are mere days away from slipping back into patterns of impatience, laziness, and higher expectations than a 4 year old can meet.

These convictions are the relatively easy ones, but what about the not so easy convictions? The ones that the Lord manages to point out to us through or during a major trial or tribulation? Issues of pride, idols, self sacrifice, or service to our Lord.  If three or four years have passed since that trial and the convictions, the resolutions, you put into place then have faded or waned, then what is the lasting impact of the trial?

Are the memories of that time too painful to revisit?
Are they just memories?
Or have you managed to manifest those memories in the forefront of your mind, reflecting on them frequently?
Choosing to remember where you have been, from which you have come, and what the Lord wants from you?

For lack of a better term, let's call it Conviction Stick-tion. Praying for, remembering on, the good that we need to be doing, so that we can effectively leave the sins of our past, in the past. The devil is a tricky little fella and he can make us think we are in all kinds of right behavior, doing what's best for all involved until before we know it our conviction has lost it's stick-tion and we are right back where we started.

Is there an area that the Lord has been pointing out to you recently, a conviction you have perhaps struggled with regularly that needs some extra stick-tion? If there is, I pray that my sharing this prodding in my life, this nudging I've been feeling from the Lord, can help you to refocus, to recognize your weakness before it is too late.

Food, Faith, and Spaghetti

I'm not sure if today's post is more about faith or food, if they should be separate topics or if they in fact go hand in hand. The original idea for this post was the idea that faith is like spaghetti. I love post ideas that spawn from family dinners! Speaking of dinners, our cupboards are bare, and perhaps that's why food is fighting for the spotlight of this post. You see, last night for dinner I ate a large slice of apple pie, and then feeling unsatisfied (go figure, it was 9:30 at night and I hadn't had anything to eat since my broccoli cauliflower soup at 11:30 AM) I ate a baby jar of mushroom pieces and stems, still hungry I crawled into bed, passing my bible, and went to sleep.

Did I mention that our cupboards are bare? Like, completely bare? It was mushrooms or ramen noodles. Anyone who lived on ramen noodles through college or any other significant period of time will agree with me, mushrooms were the better choice.

Today, I'm starving. I've had nothing but Mary Jane's (you know Mary Jane's right? Those peanut butter toffee things that come out around Halloween each year?), which I happened to have at the office left over from last week.

But, I am salivating for Jimmy Johns. Anything of substance really, but the rich seven grain bread, thick with meaty, veggie stuffed, avocado spread-ed, #11 goodness sounds particularly appealing to me right now.

I bet that right about now you've started to ask yourself "is this post really going to be all about food?" Am I right? I bet I am. The answer is yes, or no, not really, or yes, figuratively. I bet it could be, but I do have something deeper looming just below the surface. Like the meat at the bottom of a boiling spaghetti sauce, or the protein disguised as cheesy, spicy, rich goodness in bean dip.

Ok, aside aside, why am I craving a big hearty meaty sandwich? I'm craving it because sugar will not sustain me alone. God designed our bodies to need nutrients, protein, amino acids....oops my PKU knowledge is creeping in. But in all seriousness here, our bodies need food. Sometimes, even if our cupboards aren't bare, I'll come home from work not feeling very hungry. I'll take a small helping or skip dinner all together and my husband will get very concerned "Honey, you have to eat something, you cannot live on {Starburst} alone."

Alright for those of you who are still with me today, I'm a starving fool, all of my funnies might have scared a few of you off, I'm about ready to dish up the protein. One or two big heaping spoonfuls then I'm wrapping this post up so I can go get lunch. Mmmm. Lunch. Mmmmm Jimmy Johns.

Protein and other nutrients that a real health nut would know about, aren't the only thing our bodies, as Christians, need to sustain us. I'm thinking now about the Bread of Life, the Word of God. Unfortunately, I'm currently lacking in both forms of food, physical and spiritual. I'm starving in it's traditional sense of the word because my cupboards are bare, but there aren't any excuses for my spiritual starvation. I guess my spiritual cupboard would be my Bible and/or my bible study, and they aren't lost, and I doubt I'll ever open them up to find them mysteriously empty or full of blank pages.

There is nothing to blame for my spiritual starvation except for myself. My own sheer lazy and sinful nature is to blame. I get pulled into reading a good book or watching a good show and before I know it my time has flown by, and any hope of a deep and impactful devotions session have vanished into a mind that is full of mush and incomprehension.


I'm probably about 4 or 5 days out of the Word now, after a stretch several weeks long where I was reading both before bed and first thing in the morning. Reading, seeking, and really digging into the Word of God. Devouring it with true interest and passion. Savoring and enjoying each new thing I learned about my Lord and Savior.

I'm starving for scripture. I've tried to mask my starvation with little pieces of candy or sugar coated nugets. Listening to praise songs several times over, reading blogs that other people have written based loosely on a verse or two, praying two or three times more than I normally would. It doesn't take a genius to know that apple pie and mushrooms aren't a good dinner, just like my body can't sustain itself with sugar and fungus, the Christian part of me can't survive on fluff either.

There really isn't any reason for my slacking other than I just haven't been called out on it. So here, I am, calling myself out! I have plans tonight, big plans to pull out my bible, my study book, and get caught up. Memorize my weekly memory verse Romans 12:2 one of my favorites anyway, and enjoy filling myself back up with the Word of God, increasing my faith through knowledge.

Hey, there is that word again! Didn't I mention something about faith at the beginning of this funny post? Yes, I indeed I did. Faith is like spaghetti. I bet you've been wondering about that line. Ok, so the back story: My mother makes the best spaghetti sauce. Now, I make the best spaghetti sauce, no seriously, it rocks. This last time I made it I even put two jars of mushrooms in it (the writer snickers). Spaghetti was one of my favorite meals, I would ask for it for birthdays special. Every time we ate spaghetti my mom would get about half way done and then say something like "My spaghetti grew on my plate." It didn't take long before our family understood one thing about spaghetti. It wasn't like other foods, where you got scolded because your eyes were bigger than your stomach and you took more than you could eat, spaghetti grew. No matter how little you started out with, it would grow on your plate and you wouldn't be capable of (easily) finishing it.

I think that reading your bible can be a little like eating spaghetti. You don't always need a big heaping plateful because it will grow and fill you up more quickly than you expect. Once you start reading about the things that the Lord has done you will get excited about it, and that passion will grow exponentially without effort.

"The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his field. Though it is the smallest of all your seeds, yet when it grows, it is the largest of the garden plants and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and perch in its branches." Matt 13:31-32

So the first reason faith is like spaghetti is because it grows exponentially, but the second reason is inspired by my rugrats. Have you ever seen a child eat spaghetti?

When a child has had spaghetti, everybody knows. There is no hiding it.

One of my mentors used to say "When I've been out of the word one day, I know it. Two day's my husband knows it. Three days, evvvvvveryonnnnnne knows it." Isn't there some truth to that? If it's been a few days, that faith that shines from us, that love which gives us more patience, more empathy towards others, power to our prayers,  it starts to get hidden and fade.

What have you been eating lately? Have you been having dinners of apple pie and mushrooms, masking it with candy and sugar, or is your face proudly displaying a good ole helping of spaghetti?

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some lunch!

Blessings By Laura Story

I'm listening to the radio quietly today while trying to be productive for work, getting things lined up for a meeting tonight and two big meetings in the next four weeks, when the chorus of a song stopped me in my tracks.

What if our blessings come through raindrops?
What if our blessings come through tears?

I think of so many times the Lord has blessed us abundantly even amidst trial and pain. I think of how much stronger our love for and trust of the Lord is because of the trials we've been through, the prayers we've uttered, those that were answered and those that were not.

I love this song, the prayers it has awoken, the pain it soothes, the promise it holds.

Enjoy.

The Blessings

Standing in my kitchen building our potato casserole for lunch, watching/hearing my husband mow the lawn through our beautiful kitchen window, cartoon noises filling in around the edges, praying for my friend, my sister, I realized I am richly blessed.

Blessed, not just by the obvious things; a husband who loves me with no limits, boys who astound me with their natural boy-ness, a beautiful new home that meets my every earthly want, friendships as special as any I had as a little girl, parents who love their children before themselves, food on my table for every meal, Star-bursts hiding in the closet for my emotional indulgences, and people to share these blessings with. I praise the Lord for each of those, daily, but today I'm grateful for the deeper blessings, the ones that I don't always even realize I have above others. The blessings of hope, faith, love, and peace.

 I am so abundantly blessed to know about Heaven and know the One who will grant me entrance when I leave this earth. I am blessed to have Jesus in my heart, standing there at the ready to hold me up when my world starts to shake. To have faith that even through pain, suffering, and 9-11, the Lord had a plan and could work through even that sorrow to fulfill His greater purpose. Blessed to know that my child is in Heaven, making new friends in the most beautiful nursery I could ever imagine, even as we speak.

Blessed beyond words today by the prayers of the women in our church. Both today's prayers, and those uttered nearly 3 years ago, prayers I cannot fully recall but the effects of which I can still feel when moments pop up where I'm surprised that life had in fact carried on. How beautiful these women are, their stories each unique and yet the pain similar. How precious it is that we can come together in prayer and share deeply and intimately with each other, how encouraging this was to me this morning, even though I was on the praying side.

Blessed today, by the way my Lord has perfectly and beautifully woven our trials together with our blessings, how our hardest moments are some of my favorite memories, how my faith has increased through each struggle or hiccup, our hope has not wavered but grown stronger, and our love fuller, and our peace quieter.

Standing in the kitchen, feeling the faint fall sun on my cheeks, hearing my husband mowing our new lawn, listening to my children, thinking about my mom on her birthday, remembering what I was doing 10 years ago, cooking lunch and dinner for my family, praying for my friend, my sister, I feel so blessed to have faith and hope, and be filled with His love and peace.

She went, for the coffee.

When I was priming our new bathroom the other night, the Lord really started impressing on me, and well, I think He wants me to buy a coffee maker. I don't think He care's that much about the maker itself, it's more about the coffee and whose drinking the coffee, and what they could be talking about when they are drinking it.

Let me back up for a minute. Earlier that night I'd taken the kids for a walk and one of the houses near by had a group of people sitting at tables in their driveway. Owen was interested and said "Mom, look" well a minute later (Owen had ridden ahead praise the Lord) some guy shouts "what you looking at *****." I was so mad! But I was also frustrated, here we have heard nothing but good things about the neighborhood and then for this to happen. I've been praying so hard for a new home and a safe location and I just couldn't believe that within weeks of moving in there would be cause for concern like that.

However, I've also been praying that I wouldn't let anything rob me of my joy and the blessing of this new home that the Lord provided for us. So I tried very hard to make sure this didn't steal my joy, and that I don't automatically discount that whole house because of this one incident.

So, fast forward to later that evening when I was priming my bathroom and talking to God between thoughts and ideas, and pondering what had happened as well as some other conversations I'd had with our neighbors to our immediate right whom I really enjoy, when I thought about coffee.

I don't drink coffee, so for me to be thinking about coffee is a little bit odd. We just got rid of a small coffee maker that we got for our wedding, having registered for it so that over night guests could use it, but after 6.5 years it still sat unused (unless you count the skittles Owen kept in it for awhile). I started to remember about some bible studies which a friend of mine used to have, and before she hosted them a neighbor of her's hosted them, and while she wasn't a believer she went, for the coffee.

As I began chewing on that one thought, the greater it began to grow. We aren't yet settled into our new place, I haven't yet discussed this with my husband, or asked my friend if she'd consider leading the study, and I've only officially met two neighbors, but the more I think about it the more this idea feels like it is from the Lord. In fact, I was supposed to have some friends over yesterday and had to cancel because one of the boys was recovering from hand foot and mouth, but prior to the cancellation of that event I'd read these verses during my devotion time and kept thinking on them, chewing on them, trying to make them fit into my life, or my idea of how I was going to use my new house for the Lord (ie inviting over church friends, youth group events, letting Owen have sleep overs, girls nights, couples nights, family meals etc).

"A certain man was preparing a great banquet and invited many guests. At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, 'Come for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses.(...)The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, 'Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.' 'Sir,' the servant said 'what you have ordered has been done, but there is still room.' Then the master told his servant, 'Go, out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full.'" Luke 14: 16-23

I wish I had my study bible with me so I could quote what the note said, but basically the gist of it was, not to merely invite your friends over because you will be repaid by them or be repaying them for when they have or have had you over, but to instead invite strangers and the poor, to bless others without any expectation or hopes of being blessed in return.

When I was first thinking on these verses I took poor to mean poor, in the literal sense, but now I'm realizing the Lord is calling me to reach out to people in my neighborhood who are poor figuratively. Poor in spirit, or poor in knowledge of Christ.

For a long time now I haven't had a platform for leading non Christians to the Lord. I work in a christian office where I occasionally associate with a church secretary or associational team member, I go to church three times a week, and my best friends are Christians. I use this space here to encourage my fellow Christian friends and hopefully reach a few of my non christian acquaintances on Facebook. 

My husband and I were talking last week about how much we love our home (can someone say "honeymoon phase"?) when I mentioned how much I love our new location. It wasn't a place I had thought of, or specifically looked for. I'd been leaning towards something closer to my church (better schools, closer to friends, more in the country) and when we found this house I knew the location would work but I didn't realize how much I would love being in a nicer neighborhood, being able to go on long walks with the kids, seeing other kids riding their bikes and playing in yards. Now, I'm realizing that God's plans were even greater than that still, I'm realizing that I can be used here, that people need Jesus and I know him.

Stay tuned to see what kind of coffee maker I end up buying, because at this point I know the Lord wants me to do it, and when the Lord say's "buy a coffee maker" you can't turn your back. Well, I guess you could but it wouldn't turn out well, just ask Jonah.

I'm sorry that I've been unfaithful to the blogging world lately. I haven't been reading or writing blogs faithfully because there just hasn't been the space to fit it into my head.

We officially close on the house tomorrow and will be de-wallpapering/painting/moving and generally going completely insane all weekend long!!!!!! I am so excited and ready to be over this hump and onto the next thing, decorating and enjoying our new space.

Owen has been extremely emotional lately. Micah rang our doorbell while Owen was inside and he comes out to us sob crying "Micah is ringing the bell and it's hurting my eaaaaars." Um well, ok then, but why are you crying about it? I guess at daycare he's been emotional as well, and threw a full on tantrum about taking a nap one day, lip quivering arms pounding, voice whining, full on crying tantrum. Um well, ok then, but why are you crying about it?

So my best guess, is the obvious one, that he's confused and emotionally worried about our move. I forget that while our current home was never permanent in my mind (though it increasingly felt like it would be as we've now been renting there almost 5 years), it is all the boys have ever known. For that I'm beginning to get a little emotional about leaving. I'm so very excited to finally be providing them with a place of their own, decorating a room special for them, and having a yard where they can play and be kids (our landlady was really good about letting us use hers and keep a sandbox out there but it still felt odd being on her property.) But I forget that Owen doesn't understand the formality of it, he just feels like he's living in the middle of mass chaos, he can't find his toys and can't walk to the tv, doesn't know what to expect at the new house or when it is all happening, no wonder he's grumpy.

He also made a comment one day about how he was going to miss his friends and our church, so we drove him by the new house last night so that he could fully understand it's not far away. We aren't "going" anywhere. He'll still be at daycare and we will still attend our beloved Cornerstone. I think it helped that we went there right after church and then right home, that way he could get a realistic kid-sized idea on where we would be.

27 hours from now and the house will officially be ours. I am so excited about all of the painting and decorating. I think I know what I want to do in the kitchen, but I think a good blog poll is in order to make sure I get everyone's opinions. I'll get mock ups made of the kitchen and see what everyone thinks.

Oh and one last thought. Packing and moving + lost keys = mass chaos.

Luckily, I am blessed with a little boy who has seen mom and dad in these situations before and knows that praying is an excellent solution. So, while I hadn't gotten quite to that point yet, he said "mom let's pray about it" and so he did, and then the very next place I looked, there they were. What a loving Lord I have for A) answering even my tiniest prayers so quickly and fully, and B) blessing me with children who are already understanding the importance of prayer, and C) for my children being able to see prayers answered.

Not A Christian, A Vigilante.

These two conversations are slightly dated now, but I still want to get these boyhood moments out into my blogland space to reference later in life and enjoy again.

Several weeks ago now, when I was tucking Owen in, he asked me about being a Christian. I don't remember his exact question, if it was "what is a Christian" or if I'm a Christian (at any rate, he wasn't asking if HE was one). I explained it to him as simply as "it means I believe in Jesus and choose to live my life for him." I was waiting with bated breath for the next question, the one I've heard so many others start to ask at this age or in the next few years the "can I be" or "how do I" question each Christian mother and father prays to answer.

Sappy Sappy Joy Joy: A summer of weddings recap

Weddings used to hold a great magic. Now that I'm married, I don't feel that "Cinderella" feeling at them anymore, like the magic hit it's peak at my own wedding and has faded out from there. That said, weddings didn't cease affecting me, only now they make me nostalgic, sentimental, and turn me into a giant sap.  After several nights lying in bed begging him to reminisce with me and think longingly about our still future, my husband might argue that that's worse than the dreamy Cinderella magic of weddings past!