Last night we were with friends and one of them asked me "What do you write about on your blog?"
Enter opportunity for me to talk about something I love, something I'm proud of, and something I've been trying to do, not for me, but for the Lord for the last 9 months or so, and what do I do with that opportunity? I blunder it up.
Go with me there for a minute. I had just stood up to go get the boys to start cleaning up the bedroom upstairs, when he asks me this question. I responded quickly, but my response was a total cop out. I completely choked. In the amount of time it took me to decide what to say, I had a whole series of questions in my mind.
Why is he asking?
What if he (our good friend also happens to be our pastor) doesn't approve?
Has he read my blog, is this a test?
Seriously. How is a girl supposed to answer so many questions at once?
I ended up spitting out some really vague rubbish. "Oh life. Answered prayers, lately it's been a lot about my blessings, prayer requests." Now, imagine this is a movie your are watching and here I start walking up the stairs, away from the group, still trying to answer what I blog about "A lot of random thoughts about life and faith," now I say one last thing, from almost the last step, a little louder but not really to anyone "just blarbs really."
Blarbs? What are blarbs? Can we say AWKWARD?!?!?!!!!!!!!
So this morning while doing my make up for church I got to thinking.
What do I write about?
Why couldn't I come up with a better answer?
Was I just trying to be humble and make it seem like no big deal?
If I keep writing and talking about my writing like it is no big deal, will it continue to be "no big deal?"
Is that what I want?
Is the consistency and frequency of my writing being affected by my lack of drive, vision and purpose?
I wondered too about my stats, about my readers, my topic. Who am I writing for? I really want to be writing for the Lord, I want to be focused on what He is doing in me and through me. How do I know then, if I'm measuring up to that standard?
I decided today I really need to pin down a purpose. I need to write a mission statement so to speak, rewrite my goals (as I discovered this week many of my 101 in 1001 days goals have vanished into cyber space--many of which were about writing), and I need to figure out my audience, my subject, my purpose.
Stay tuned dear friends, I'm excited about the writer this exercise, focus, and dedication to the Lord will bring.