ASK YOUR SPOUSE TO TELL YOU THREE THINGS THAT CAUSE HIM OR HER TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE OR IRRITATED WITH YOU. YOU MUST DO SO WITHOUT ATTACKING THEM OR JUSTIFYING YOUR BEHAVIOR. THIS IS FROM THEIR PERSPECTIVE ONLY.
I don't know about you, but my husband makes these kinds of dares really hard! Trying to get answers out of him is like pulling teeth. I literally had to ask him about 6 different times throughout the day, promising that I wouldn't respond, I just wanted to know what I could do to improve. He hates questions like this, and he's a professional at throwing them back in my face:
Brian: Well, what three things do I do that irritate you?
Me: I'm not going to tell you, until you tell me!
Brian: No, I'm not going to tell you until you tell me!
Me: I asked first!
See the conundrum? Eventually, I wore him down and got the following out of him.
1. Asking me questions like this! (Ok, so he was partly being facetious, but joking aside, I can see the annoyance in his face every time I start 'fishing' for deeper meaning and analyzing our marriage.)
2. The face you make when I ask to go play basketball (insert: golf, fish, watch football, catch him reading ESPN.com).
3. When you walk out of the room while you are talking to me. (How can I accuse him of forgetting something or not listening to me if he might not have been able to even hear me in the first place?)
Alright folks, there it is. I'm not allowed to attack or justify myself, and really I don't want to. Those things are rude. I see that. I would be annoyed too, if I was in his shoes.
Here is to making small improvements which will have a big impact on our marriage, even if it's just by making him more comfortable to be himself around me.
So, what are three things you do that might drive your honey crazy? Would you treat a guest the way you do your husband? What can you do today to help him feel more comfortable, more welcomed, and positively impact your marriage, then link up at Penelope Blue.