Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Feeling Humbled and Blessed

This morning I was planning to do another list of the things I am grateful for, but then today I "met" a new family, a few new families actually, through the blogging world.

The one that touched my heart the deepest is the story of baby Jaxton who will be two weeks old tomorrow. From what I can tell he is fighting for his life. Which, without the Lord's mercy and grace, is a losing battle. I have been praying all day for this little boy and have checked multiple times for an update on how yesterdays testing went. In this post his mother says that if he does not pass this test it means he will never be able to breath without a ventilator.

His mothers name is Lisa and from reading just a few posts I can tell that she has a fierce love for the Lord. I cannot imagine the pain, worry, and confusion that is threatening her very being at this time. I have been praying for her and her husbands strength as much as I've been praying for Jaxton's.

Then I "met" Rachel from Finding Joy she is a Christian mother of 7 (4 boys under the age of 6!). Her youngest, Samuel, was recently diagnosed with Celiac Disease. Her blog is full of Truth, love, and blessings. I loved spending time learning about their journey through his diagnosis. I could feel her trust in God through her words and see His blessings through her pictures. Her son is only months older than Micah John and his eyes are nearly as bright and his smile electric.

I was blessed today by both of these women, their families, and their boys. I felt God stirring gratitude, joy and strength into my otherwise content, naive and complacent view of life. It's one thing to feel blessed, it's an entirely  different thing to realize, process, and reflect on those blessings

Yesterday a friend posted about the pain, worries and suffering she has been enduring in the 3 months since her daughter passed away, tragically and unexpectedly just days after her first birthday. My heart aches for Sophia when I see Micah who is days younger than Sofia would have been. I pray that the Lord will hold Felicia and whisper words of peace into the saddest places in her heart.

I am unbelievably grateful to these women for their transparency and willingness to share their thoughts, tears, and joys with me through their writing.

It truly is a gift from the Lord to have two healthy, beautiful, strong, and intelligent children. It is truly a gift from the Lord to be healthy, capable, and unhindered in my ability to be a mother, a wife. It is truly a gift from the Lord to have a husband who is in remission from Cancer, is otherwise completely healthy, is strong, handsome, and self sacrificing.

I wake up every morning and my greatest concern is what the kids will eat for breakfast, whether or not the current cold, eye infection, stomach bug has crept it's way into my home and will keep the kids from daycare. I get hugs and kisses from my boys multiple times a day. I can hear giggles, shrieks, and "kapows" wafting through the house as I prepare food for dinner, fold our laundry or straighten up our home.

Life is so fragile, so complex, without God I don't believe our millions and trillions of cells would amount to anything but through His intricate plan, through His grace, through His will He has breathed life into each of us. What an amazing gift. It can be so easy to forget or become complacent and routine in the gifts of praise we offer back to Him.

I am so grateful for today, for it's simplicity, for the moments and memories, for the peace and joy. Joy in Christ is never fleeting but for some walking through trials like Lisa, Rachel and Felicia it would take effort to keep that joy from sinking beneath the surface. I know that this life will be full of trial, somewhere around the bend our family will be put into the furnace again. It is my prayer that, until then, I will not forget the blessing of this time, and that whatever may come around the bend will not cause us to stumble and fall but strengthen our faith.
Psalm 139: 1-6
1 You have searched me, LORD, 
   and you know me. 
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; 
   you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; 
   you are familiar with all my ways. 
4 Before a word is on my tongue 
   you, LORD, know it completely. 
5 You hem me in behind and before, 
   and you lay your hand upon me. 
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, 
   too lofty for me to attain.

Thank you Lord

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