The Aftershock and Foreshadowing

On Sunday I had to drive an hour to a work meeting and on my way there, I had 6 fabulous blog post ideas. Now of course I can't remember any of them, so I guess I'll wing it.

The big one had his stitches removed this morning and again I felt beyond proud of him. While we were waiting for his doctor he colored her a picture to pass the time and on the bottom I wrote "Thank you Dr. S" and then under that he wrote "Owen Love@s YoYu." She loved it. Said it was awfully advanced drawing for his age (I don't know if it is or not, because I don't have anything to compare it to but I believe he's better than anyone anyway because he's my son) so I said "He's an artist."

Because he is. Just last night he was coloring and looked up at me and said, "Mom, am I an artist? I'm going to grow up to be an artist so I have to practice a lot." His passion for drawing just keep increasing as he gets older. It's very neat. he's grasped that dad is an artist and he wants to be like dad.

Again Owen sat unbelievably still while she worked on removing his stitches which was a little hard because two of them were enveloped in a scab. He thought it was cool, getting to see the stitches when she pulled them out. The doctor was amazed at how well behaved he was, how patient and brave.

Could it be that my little fire cracker, my strong willed, one hundred and ten percent, do-it-myself-er is finally maturing? There were times I wondered if the day would ever come where he would settle down, where we would take a turn into mild mannered, and by golly golly I think we are there.

I also feel slightly redeemed thanks to this appointment. It wasn't too long ago that I had both boys sitting in front of this same doctor trying to have a conversation about Micah and illness x, y or z that he had and Owen was hitting me in the face repeatedly. He didn't listen to me, blatantly ignored me, in front of her and it got so bad that she scolded him. I didn't mind, but was so embarrassed.

Today, my child impressed her with his behavior.

Deep exhale.

Mommy guilt. Oh how taxing and tricky and conniving that mommy guilt can be. In any given day I can convince myself that if I'd been there (wherever and whatever 'there' is on that day) then .... would have been different, would have been better. Like the day Owen got his first bee sting while at daycare, or the time last week when Micah was bit hard twice, one on each arm.  But then, this is where mommy guilt can get tricky, there are times like the stitches incident where I play a part, no matter how small or large, in my child getting injured and I wish I'd been smarter, been quicker, been absent. If I hadn't been there, I wouldn't have finished the sumo wrestling costumes and I wouldn't have been sitting by the evil glider that hurt my baby.

Remember the evil stroller that pinched Micah's finger a few months back? It's been forgiven, or rather not forgiven but forgotten as the anger it once received has now been redirected to the evil rocking chair/glider.

It's fading now that we are 5 days out from the point of attack (ha ha) but I had to fight that mommy guilt hard a few times. And I so appreciated all of the comments here on my blog, on my face book page and one particular compliment that came with a hug at church. The support of other christian mothers is so invaluable to me. It helps keep me focused on the Lord and prevents me from falling to deeply into the worries of mommy guilt.

Especially now that the stitches have been removed I feel like we have come to the end of this particular story. I hated it and that it happened and yet I feel like I learned so much from the trip to the ER that I'm glad we were there.

Here is a peek at the Halloween costumes I made the boys. They aren't really sumo wrestlers, though they seem to think they are while they are wearing them. This video is the "foreshadowing" of what was to come about an hour later. Oh, how I hope the 3 or 4 times they wear these costumes this weekend are without incident!

Enjoy.