Not A Christian, A Vigilante.

These two conversations are slightly dated now, but I still want to get these boyhood moments out into my blogland space to reference later in life and enjoy again.

Several weeks ago now, when I was tucking Owen in, he asked me about being a Christian. I don't remember his exact question, if it was "what is a Christian" or if I'm a Christian (at any rate, he wasn't asking if HE was one). I explained it to him as simply as "it means I believe in Jesus and choose to live my life for him." I was waiting with bated breath for the next question, the one I've heard so many others start to ask at this age or in the next few years the "can I be" or "how do I" question each Christian mother and father prays to answer.



"I'm not going to be a Christian when I grow up mom!" He said, shocking enough as it is, he said it with this indignant pride.
I blinked back any and every rebuttle that was fighting to get out and just took the moment as it was for a minute, trying desperately to remind myself that he's only four. "Really?" I managed.
"No, mom I'm going to grow up to be a killer," he said dramatically, drawing out the last word. "A bad guy killer. That's what I'm going to be. I'm going to go around helping God get all the bad guys!"
I smiled and kissed his head, more proof of a recent realization that Owen is a hero at heart, always wanting to save the day.

A few brief moments later, in fact I was still in his room, listening to his bedtime prayer, it dawned on me what he'd just said. My son's first "I wanna be ... when I grow up" dream is a Vigilante.

This makes me laugh, smile, and cry all at the same time. Clearly I do not approve of killing bad guy's, however, it strikes me that his little boy innocence just wants to do good for God. Also, I think it's interesting that his (middle) namesake is the Apostle Paul, who went around killing Christians before doing great great things for Christ.   It is my prayer that the Lord will use Owen in equally marvelous ways, and that He will first use us to tapper down Owen's enthusiasm and direct it in a more humanitarian direction :p

Silly me, I can't remember the second Owen story I wanted to share now. Oh well, this one should be entertaining enough for the time being. Not to leave Micah out, I want to mention that the other night I turned around in the car to look at my baby and staring back at me was a little boy. Big blue eyes, a gorgeous smile, and legs that went on for days. I don't know when this happened, but all of a sudden the baby who was still so dependent on me and sort with an intense look of wonder now stairs back at me with full understanding of everything I say and can communicate back to me in a way that enables me to know what he's asking for or telling me.

So happy, so sad.